I'm 18. I start college in about a week. My parents won't let me get a job, they control where I'm going to school, I'm living at home, and they basically chose my major. I lost my virginity when I was 16, was raped a year later by a different guy, and just now told my mom about it. We fight NON STOP. No matter the argument, she always has to bring up how stupid I was for not turning the bastard in and how stupid I was for losing my virginity in the first place. On most days, when I walk downstairs in the morning, she usually starts yelling at me about something I did almost immediately. I can never do anything to her standards. She makes me want to hurt myself. She makes me so mad that I want to do things she would disapprove. I used to shoplift, although I quit that and I drink.
On top of that, I've been dating the same guy for 2 years now. I started dating him After my encounter with rape with another guy....I think I'm going to break up with him. And yea, everyone has their sop stories about break ups but really, I dont know what to do. I love him so much...but I'm not sure our values and goals are the same. He does and says things that I find really offensive. And He can NEVER put me first...like he never acts like I matter much. And I think its really hurtful.
But basically, my home life sucks...and If I break up with this guy then that will suck too. I just feel miserable. | |
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Your parents won't be able to control you forever. If you want to go to college and they are paying the bill, then you probably have to go along with their wishes as to where you will be going unless you are willing to pay for your higher education yourself through loans to make your own choices or forego a higher education for now.
If you think your mom would be open to it, have a conversation with her about how the way she talks to you affects your life and outlook. Be specific but avoid blaming her. Instead focus on how it make you feel. Maybe she will be willing to try to be more positive and encouraging with you, if you ask her to. You can do the same for her by trying to find nice, positive things to say to her on a daily basis.
If you love her and she loves you, be open with her and remind her of that and say that you want to have a closer relationship with her and not be angry or hurt so often by what you hear her tell you. Remember that it is most likely that her criticisms come from a place of caring for you, but she needs to know that it is hurting you.
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