I cannot claim by any means that this story is half as bad as most... but it still sucks and makes me feel better to get it out. I'm 27. i still live at home. I consider myself to be an attractive man but yet cannot find a woman. I'm aethiest which everyone gives me shit about. im on multiple meds for depression cause i just cry for no reason sometimes. i have lost the will to do anything... go outside, hang with friends, even masturbating seems unpleasant or unfulfilled. I feel like im going to be that guy that livers at home forever. i had a girlfriend a while back, had an apartment so i thought i was pretty secure and went and bought a new car. she left me for an ex bf that was in jail. we didn't speak till they broke up.... and just when me and her were becoming friends again she died in a car accident. now i live at home, cant afford to live on my own cause of the damn car payment, and my life is just going nowhere. i would never kill myself cause then there would always be ppl that would say "i could have done something"... even tho I'd love to. The world is a prison and life is my sentence. I just wish i would die from natural causes and be done with this life. | |
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Look I empathise towards your situation - I'm sorry about your girlfriend - sounds like you guys went some tough times - look mate u need to get out and socialize - all your motivation and independance is gone because you and you alone is in your own world - you have to share your lifestyle with people to make it more exciting u know pumped to do things - have friends behind you to love, support and have your back for life - yea it'll be hard at first to adapt to a change but a change for the good.
I'm a fitness instructor and believe joining a gym is the best way to go for physical and mental strength and character growth - you'll feel good buddy - give it a shot.
I don't know if you have a job - but if not find a full time job for your car loan and find a hobby - cars, bikes, fishing, horse riding, sports- soccer, footy - if you follow all these attributes you'll go far and a girl will come along with it - just be yourself nd work and play hard. Good luck mate - keep it cool
you are sinking into this very narrow perspective of everything sucking. Things do suck for you, but your view on the world is waaaay too limited. you seem to have all of your stock in your situation, and not something broader than that- like a future, or your... *self.*
also, I really dont think you are letting yourself naturally grieve. It seems like your are taking meds to make those feeling go away artificially, instead of going through the healthy, albiet painful process of grieving, numbing, waking, and then hopefully finally DECIDING who you want to be and being that on purpose- rather than being who you are right now just because that is...who you are, or what it's always been, or that you "dont know how to be anything else" or something vague and aimless and without empowerment like that. If you are crying somewhere, well, that is because you are going through something really hard, and NOTHING is wrong with you- people cry when those things happen! People grieve! People try and try to stave off the reality, but then it clings to you. It will until you completely recognize and knowledge its effect- respectfully, deeply, acceptingly. It is wasteful, silly, unnecessary and disrespectful to try to deny the reality of what she was to you, and who she was as a person. In grieving, in a weird way I think we also fully accept and celebrate how beautiful that person was. Sometimes, in a strange way, it can lift you- like its something you finally said to or about someone.
You should get out and get your body flowing again- walking, running, working out even when--ESPECIALLY when-- you dont want to. if the feelings arent there, then discipline is what has to drive you to change- until the feelings/motivations come.
it doesn't seem like you've ever really been inspired anyways- just 'secure'. Maybe you should try to change that...
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