Somehow, somewhere my very bright life went off the rails.I have been trying to figure it out and although I can pinpoint with accuracy, I can't seem to get it back on track.
I'm a 26 year old woman who left her country of origin to pursue a higher education and a better life. I struggled through school and had to quit with one assignment left to graduate, I tell myself that I can always go back and complete it. I do not have a job and have been living off friends since my last job 3 years ago. I cannot drive because I was too proud to take up an offer to learn from a friend who has since passed away. I haven't been back to my country since I got here almost 7 years ago, I haven't seen my family since. I'm afraid to look for work because I fear that they will find that I overstayed my visa and deport me. I have all but alienated my friends because they all thought that I was the one who would make it, and make it big now I'm ashamed they'll discover I'm nothing but a zero. I have never been intimate with a man because somehow my christian indoctrination got in the way, I'll only do it with the one. I do not have anyone to talk to, my days are spent reading books.
What do I do? What are my prospects? I'm 10 years behind on my timeline. Will I ever make it up? Are these insurmountable problems? What hope is there that I'll move on and become a contributing member of society? When will I not just be another loser who has done nothing for anyone including herself? | |
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