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Sad in LA

Posted by anon at August 19, 2011
Tags: 2011 August  Friendship  Job  Loneliness

Just very depressed and feel like I don't know where I am going these days. I was engaged to be married to a man who became very abusive. We ended up having a child together and when my son was 2 months old, he attacked me for the last time and I left him. Haven't seen my ex since (my son is 5 1/2 now). My restraining order just expired after 5 years and I just filed for full custody and restricted visitations (not that he'd ever be interested in seeing his own son, but just in case). My baby boy is my life. I love him so much and probably could not breathe without him. Being single, I discovered a lot about myself and found out I enjoy the company of a woman much more than the company of a man (no bible verses or hate comments please..just want to vent so if you hate gays, just leave me alone please). I got involved with a woman who was wonderful with my son and we were together for 2 1/2 years. One problem, though. She was too much of a drinker and eventually, I had to cut her loose. She was there for my son and I so much and I miss her terribly, but I can't have that kind of behavior around my son. It also led me to drink more, which I needed to stop right away.

I have a decent job and have been going to school since 2009 for my BS in Business at the University of Phoenix. I just see negative publicity about the school and I fear that I won't find anything once I graduate next year. I've truly busted my ass in school and have achieved nothing but A's and B's at this point. I hope my long nights and sacrifices haven't been a waste of time. I want to get into HR and stop my dead end job as a medical biller. The company I work for won't give me an opportunity because I have no experience. I feel so trapped and although I feel lucky to have a job right now, I still feel stuck. All I do is work and go to school online and my kid hasn't been with me in a while. He's been staying with my parents because of my long work hours. All I do is work and go to school. I have very little friends, and the friends I do have do not have children and party or travel all of the time, and I can't because of my responsibilities here. Sounds like I should be grateful, right? I have a great kid, decent job, going to school, have my own place, etc. WTF is my problem? I'm so lonely, depressed, and burned out. I'm also the only child and all of my family members are old and SUPER Catholic. No cousins, sisters, brothers, etc. to really have a bond with. I get jealous watching other people with their families or friends because at the end of the day with my son is asleep, I am here alone. Seems like life shouldn't suck because I have in fact accomplished some things so far, but I'm just lonely and sad all of the time. Anyway..just wanted to vent and bitch and didn't feel like being a drama queen on Facebook like some people do, nor do I have the funds to pay a therapist. Thanks for reading if you actually read this lol.


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By anonymous at 14,Oct,11 19:56

I feel you. I left my husband because I fell in love with a woman. * yrs later she turns out to be a phsycho and homophobic(even though she really enjoyed having power over me in her mouth. Now she's moving back home to her 8 brothers and sisters and her mother. Iwas young and stupid, but still I gave up ev everyting to be with her. Just saying, you are not alone!!

By anonymous at 16,Oct,11 15:32

In fact you are not alone and I see a lot of hope in your situation.
You have your parents to help you, right? I wish I could use that type of help, using the time for my own achievements and still have my son near me...
If I leave my stressful relationship, she said I wouldn´t see my boy again.
Yes, I´m a man what proves that there are a lot of forms of abuse. Some women are abusive too.
Please don´t give up on men (or mankind). I´m sure there is one more sensible that will fulfill your heart. (No drama, just a little bit romantic). If we wouldn´t leave so far, I would try to convince you.
Meanwhile, let it go the friends that party all the time (they are more lost then you). Focus on the good feelings and in the goal of life (religion helps a lot here).
Hope to prove that there is hope, at least I spent some time triyng (forgive the mispelings, cause Im not an english speaker). If I, that dont know you, feel connected with you somehow, imagine the others that happens to luckily meet you!
kind regards,

By anonymous at 18,Oct,11 01:50

I read your rant. you do have some people listening to you. don't give up, it's a long hard road and believe in what you do. although the university might not have credibility, actual work counts as experiance.

I was feeling lonely and pitiful which is why I stumbled on this site. so I guess everyone feels lonely sometimes. I'm glad you reached out. I think you can meet friends with your son's friends parents maybe? good luck I wish you for better days.

By Mister B-Don at 18,Oct,11 15:44

I'm gonna keep it real. Take it however you want it but you just cursed yourself by letting someone trick you into getting pregnant and then he walks off like nothing ever happened. You not only cursed yourself you cursed your child. Your baby father is cursed as well. You need to establish a proper relationship by seeking God first.
By anonymous at 20,Oct,11 06:31

mister b don STFU who do u think u are to say she and her child are cursed u asshole go spread your bullshit religeon talk somewhere else

By anonymous at 22,Oct,11 13:32

Mr B your an asshole.

Your not cursed thats superstitious christian rubbish. In my opinion you are working really hard for your son and you should be proud of that. I feel sad and lonely too, its the sense of hopelessness and isolation that are beating you down. Stay strong and believe in yourself, your doing really well.

By anonymous at 23,Oct,11 03:24

Boy do I feel you. Same thing as you; I have a wonderful 6 year old son who I love more than anything. I have a dead-end job that I am lucky to have but that I am going nowhere in. I also am going to school and have very little time with my son. I'm really lonely and sad too, and I feel bad because I think that I shouldn't because I am a lot luckier than a lot people right now. How is it possible to be sad & lonely when you are making all the right choices & are surrounded ny people? I don't know, but it is. Wish I knew how to change it. Any suggestions?

By goedkope Moncler nieuw Jassen at 11,Nov,14 02:04

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