So I met this guy from summer school, he and I were exactly alike; we think alike, we talk alike, our comebacks, jokes, and sense of humor were EXACTLY alike. I've never dated anyone, never really had close friends who are guys because I'm not like that, I hate it when guys touch me, and I feel uncomfortable around guys because I have a fear of liking them. But with him, it was different. I didn't mind him touching me, I didn't mind him taking my first kiss at all. He was the best friend I never had. He told me I was special, that I was perfect, but because of previous bad experience, I didn't want to take it to heart because I knew that this wasn't going to work out, we don't live in the same area code! He promised me he'd keep in touch and everything, and he did for the first little while, but then he stopped caring and he just games all the time and it makes me feel so upset! I've never liked anyone this much before, and now I can't stop thinking about him. I just started my senior year and I don't want to be held back by thinking of him when I have school and university applications to worry about, but I've never known what it was like to really care about someone so much until I met him. I honestly wouldn't mind if we just stay as friends, that's enough for me. I was blessed with someone out of the billions of people in this world who could accept me for who I truly am and I just don't want to lose him, I hate how he ignores me and throws me away as if I never existed! Why did he say all that? Was he leading me on? I don't know. I know it's too early for me to think things like this since I'm only 16, but I really doubt I'll find someone as amazing as he is. However, I'm truly grateful to have found someone like him, and our short, but meaningful memories will remain close to my heart forever. I miss him so much, but I don't have the guts to bother him or tell him how I really feel. I'm no good with telling people how I feel. I didn't want to tell anyone this because I just needed an outlet to my internal turmoil, but now that I have let it all out I feel a lot better. Will this eventually be a phase that I'll pass? | |
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