all my life i have felt deep down in my heart that i was called, if you will, to be something great. Every career move i have ever made i have managed to excell. However.... after excelling i always seem to hear the words "Ed, your work ethic is impecable. You are a fantastic employee, but..." FUCK!!! BUT!?! But what !!! we're gonna have to let you go." Fucking cut backs, over qualified, under qualified!!!! what the fuck? I went to college, graduated with high honors and i can't find a fucking job to save my fucking, miserable life. Thats just the fucking job status. After 16 years of giving 110% to my first marriage, my fucking wife gets arrested for dealing drugs, trafficking, distributing, child abuse, child endangerment, and a list as long as my arm. What the fuck? Rare, but i get full custudy of all four of our kids. I raise my kids assuming the roll of mom and dad, i have no choice but to quit my job. And yes it was one the I was excelling in. I'd been a local truck driver for 6 years at this point. Now i find the kids and i on welfare. FUCK!!! Now, nearly 8 years later the kids are grown and live on there own. We all have a great relationship untill i meet Sophia. After she had met all the kids and the majority of my family, she was in. Everyone loved her. They said she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Then... Ta Da... we get married. Suddenly the family hates her fucking guts, my kids are calling me talking all kinds of shit. Not just one of kids, but all of 'em. I've been married less than a year, my wife wants a divorce, my kids hate her, they hate me, my ex got out of prison super early and proceeds to torment me because she claims her drug abuse is some how my fault. 2 of kids are constantly in trouble with the law. My 22 year old step son won't fucking leave. Turns out he has squitsophraina. He's a total fucking nut job. My wife didn't tell me he was fucked in the head. The fucker will probably live with us forever, or at least until i loos my fucking mind and shoot myself. I now feel convinced that God does exist. But only to take pleasure in our suffering. I have found prayer to be useless and believe god reviews our prayers as junk mail. He chooses who succeeds and who fails. who wins or looses. who is granted heaven and who is going to hell. We are pawns in His game of life and it doesn't matter if we make a mistake, we are on our own. God just finds it amusing watching us flailing around hopelessly, begging Him to intervien to no avail. Life fucking sucks. There is pleanty more to say and examples to give but this is, albiet long, an overview of my fucked up life. Life Fucking Sucks. Ask your doctor if Smith & Wesson is right for you. i'm on my own, and so are you, so fuck you too. FUCK YOU!!! | |
A lot of life is determined by luck, that is true. But a lot is also determined by the poor choices we make.
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