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This is My Story

Posted by anonymous at September 4, 2011
Tags: Anxiety  Attitude  2011 September

Hi everyone,

So,i stumbled upon this website,read a few stories and thought maybe someone can relate to my story. I've been through quite a few traumatic issues in my life.I've always told myself that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.I lost my grand mother at 13,i was really close to her and she died suddenly,so it was quite a shock,it was really hard on me but at that time ,i wasn't eating properly.I would have fruit for breakfast,a slice of toast for lunch and lettuce for supper,i don't even understand how i was able to function.I lost 40 pounds going from 140 to 100 pounds.It was a miserable time for me. After i couldn't starve myself anymore,i became bulimic from the age of 14 to 19.

Sometimes i just wanted to die,i felt like failure at life. I've always had friends and a few boyfriends,but the only man i loved abused me emotionally.He didn't give a fuck about me,and i loved him with all my heart.I feel like he's the reason I'm so afraid to fall in love again.

These days,I'm feeling really depressed and i have anxiety attacks probably a couple of times a week.i've seen a psychologist 2 years ago but as much as i was open to her help,i felt like she didn't really understand me.I'm talking to this guy and i know it won't go anywhere,i don't even know why I'm wasting my time.If anyone can relate i would love to hear your stories.xox



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Comments:
By anonymous at 15,Nov,11 22:59

Yes, I can definitely relate, I kid you not. I dated a prick from high school to college, on and off for 4 and a half years. He emotionally abused me, and I felt I needed him to feel important. He was too smart for his own good, as my mother always used to say. He went to an Ivy League college and whenever I came to visit, he always said "you're so lucky you are with me because now you can be around the greatest minds in the world, and the people who will one day run the world". Whenever I said anything, or commented about anything, he would ask me where I heard it or where I read it. Then he would say "that's not a credible source", so I shouldn't comment unless it's from the Wall Street Journal, or something. I went to a top 50 college, but he said that he didn't respect my education, so he didn't care for anything I ever said. A few kids from our high school were also at the same college as I was, and since he thought they were dumb asses, my school sucks, and they'll let anyone in. He cheated on me with 2 different girls, that I know of. When I found out he cheated, he said the first one didn't count because he was "planning" on breaking up with me. The second time didn't count because we were technically not together, even though we were "planning" on getting back together after a break. He never admitted fault for anything. He said he hates my family, and can never be himself around them. He lives his life putting other people down. One day I just had it. I ended things, and cried for a week. After that, I didn't cry anymore over this jerk. I felt relieved, but still get pissed sometimes for allowing myself to get stepped on like that. Went to therapy for a few years for severe anxiety. Dated another guy who was also emotionally abusive, but it ended after just a few weeks. A couple years later, I met my husband. He is so incredible, and I finally know what it feels like to not have to convince your whole family to like the guy you're with. Each day I am reminded how lucky I am to have met someone so amazing, and it's about time! Someone was definitely watching over me. Although I still have anxiety, and I'm working on it, I'm so happy I didn't give up. The wrong guys made me realize what I didn't want, and it helped shape me into the perfect person for my husband.
Don't give up. Use your anger as strength! Let it motivate you to raise above these jerks.


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