I know I am very lucky to have both my parents alive and healthy. Except for my mom, she always complains about every little thing that she's feeling. Making us feel worried constantly about her health. I always pray to God that they will live until they are in their 90's. I hate my family relationship. First we are very poor, we live in a dirty apartment for the last 15 years and I feel that I will never be able be successful to purchase a home for my parents and even pay the damages we've caused in this apartment. I hate the horrible relationship we have in this house. Both my parents are illiterate since they grew up in a 3rd world country and so they make a lot of dumb decision and can't even understand a 1st grader book let alone very important documents. I don't have a relationship with my parents because I can't seem to connect with them. I have 2 sisters and the oldest is illiterate as well and is 29 and does not have a decent job or wants to do anything with her life. We have a very intense negative relationship with my dad because he is dumb, hot temper, verbally abusing and never defended us when his family members put us down. Worst he's a pervert towards us and my mom is in denial. He never touced us but there are a lot of incidents where he looks at us funny. We made a big issue of the situation, where he doesn't close the door fully when he pee's and we're all girls and all share 1 bathroom. I think one time when I was younger, from the corner of my eye, I think when he came out of the bathroom he was completely naked knowing that he was not alone. One time when I was watching tv in their room I felt his presence so I turned around and saw that he closed the door but he was changing his pants, totally exposing his brief (thankful that he wasn't completely naked). He would constantly look at our (me and my sisters) breasts' and we called him out on it and my mom refuses to believe us that my dad has perverted mind toward us, I can't hug him at all and feel very self concious around him when I wear Camis and shorts since where I live is hot. I am just so upset that I lost all my respect for him and lost all my trust on him like If I ever have a little girl, I will never leave him alone with her. These are just events that made us feel uncomfortable around him, but HE NEVER TOUCHED US inappropriately. I am very upset that my family relationship is ruined and will never have a loving relationship with my parents and even my sisters. I love and pity my dad, I just hate that he did those actions that made us doubt him and gave us a reasons to accuse him of being a pervert. He is still the bread winner of the house and he still house me and my sisters, we're in our mid 20's to late 20's. I just want to win a lot of money because I wasted my college degree on a bullcrap teaching degree which I hate because it's a poor salary and I am not even working because I have no confidence in teaching. If I win a lot of money at vegas or something, we can all seperate where I buy my parents a condo where only both of them live so the negative tension we have in our small apartment will go away and repair our relationship by not always seeing each other in this very small crowded apartment. | |
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