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I'm sick of everything

Posted by anonymous at September 12, 2011
Tags: Independent circumstances  Loneliness  2011 September

Well, hello.
I'm Elena and I'm 14. I'm actually from Romania, a shitty country of Europe, but 3 months ago, I moved to Italy with my mom.
I left everything behind, my friends, my life, my home. EVERYTHING!
And today was my first day of school here. They are all so cold, and racists, I don't know how I'm gonna' make it throuh the year.
It's pretty hard to speak and learn in another language, and it's not like I'm fluent in italian.
I have no friends here, except for my boyfriend who is also romanian but he lives in another town so it's not like he can be here for me when I need him, and stuffs like that.
I know it sounds pretty lame, but in reality it's hard...
I miss everything.
You know, before I left Romania, I looked back, and I said to myself that it's going to be much better, and I left. I just left. My father is still in Romania, cause my parents are kinda divorced, and my mother has a boyfriend here; and every single person who really mattered in my life, is there. They are all home.
In fact, home is a word that I can't spell anymore. I'm just in a place that my mom likes to home call , but I can't.
I'm all alone. I have nobody. No friends, no nothing. And all I can do is to cry myself to sleep, get up, realise that every morning is a mistake, put a mask and a fake smile on my face, make it through the day, and repeat.
I'm not sure how long I can do this.
I used to make plans, to have dreams, but everything is gone. It's like I'm dead. I can't imagine my future, I don't even want one.
I'm not sure if there are persons who will understand me but... I just needed to talk to somebody.


New Comment

By anonymous at 04,Nov,11 16:51

not easy to move in a new country
also Romania is not well seen in Western Europe
usually things are improving with time
you will find friends, I'm sure
By anonymous at 06,Nov,11 04:50

hey your mum is doing the right thing for you , you now have the oppertunity to live and learn another language and culture , move on and learne fast you will see the benafits of speking italian , english and romanian in just a few years , your working life will reap many benafits believe me , i live in the uk , but will be going to new zealand soon live the dream that most people never get to turn in to reality , best of luck rob uk x

By anonymous at 05,Nov,11 01:54

Life sucks, if you need someone to talk to, i'm here.

By anonymous at 05,Nov,11 06:01

screw everyone just ignore these people that ignore u.. no point. life isnt based around friends. iv been thru it fuck everyone is wat i say, thats all i got for u

By anonymous at 05,Nov,11 13:51

That's really changed a what big deal...move on n get a life

By anonymous at 06,Nov,11 01:23

Check out Steve Job's (Apple founder) speech - I think its inspiring - he faces himself in the mirror every day and says, "If I knew I was going to die today, would I do everything I'm about to do? If the answer is 'no' too many days in a row, I change something."
Pretty cool. I faced myself this morning, and will do it again tomorrow. Instead of crying at night, try wishing with all your might for what you want for 30 days and see what comes true. I had a friend from Romania, but we lost touch - I miss her because she was so funny and we got along so well. You have a big heart like a fluffy bear - people need you in the world because you can make them smile. You have a gift.

By anonymous at 06,Nov,11 23:16

I have to comment for two reasons. I am Romanian too and I have absolutely nobody in this world. The people in my family although mostly salt of the earth people are caught up in their own daily affairs, we rarely speak. I am a 24 year old male college student in Hawaii, don't kid yourself Hawaii is not so great.

Friends come and go, but all you have indefinitely in your life is yourself and God if you choose to have faith. My brother visited Romania for a while and returned saying Romania is a broken country destroyed by Ceaușescu. Hang on though your life is about to improve, all the gifts and talents you have in life are at your finger tips and undeveloped take some time explore and find out what they are. It may just be that you are new to Italy and the Italians surrounding you don't trust you. A year from things maybe better.

By anonymous at 21,Nov,11 13:30

Deadman, you make me sick..

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