LIFE SUCKS

Here's my story. Take heart.

The short version: I was bullied from the beginning of school, verbally & sometimes physically abused at home. Thought it would never get better. Developed a phobia of people b/c of this. Went for therapy. Finally found good therapist. Learned Cognitive Behavioral therapy through Dr. David Burn's Feeling Good Book. Got past anxiety and depression by working and battling through. Went to college. Got degree. Got spouse. Got sick. Really sick. Need surgery...again. So I don't have much family, and I don't have any friends. Yet, by doing the best I can in my life, it doesn't bother me as much. I have a lot of goals and ways to occupy my time. However, it saddens me to have to struggle with my health all the time. It is literally beyond my control. I have struggled with my health my whole life, and I worry b/c I can't work. I have managed to get to acceptance, though I continue to fight. You can't let the fight go out of you. You have to be determined as hell to fight to conquer whatever obstacles you face. I am glad to at least have who I have supporting me. It sure took me a hell of a long time to find them, few though they are. It can feel like the greek metaphor Sysaphus (sp?),but I want to encourage those of you here not to give up. Everything isn't a bed of roses, but it isn't all bad either. If you have to fight to make changes that will at least improve things, do it. Take it step by step. I am still lonely, but that literally isn't the worst thing in my world. It is still remarkably better than being mistreated day in and day out. It doesn't even rate by comparison to intense physical pain that requires narcotics regularly and frightening surgery. It's all relative I guess. I am sorry that all of you are having problems, feeling depressed and lonely. At least we can take heart that all of us have been there, but it also reminded me that the bad feelings and outlook are often temporary. I see that some of you are much younger. As you get older you get to see that things change. It's just physics, what goes down, must go up eventually. So, take heart and know that my heart goes out to all of you.