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My life sucks more than yours.

Posted by Allu at February 27, 2010
Tags: Attitude  2010 February

I am a perfectly normal person exept for the fact that, i am a pedophile.

im 23 yo. I fall in love with little boys. i dont go out in a trenchcoat and rape them like they say on the movies or tv series, thats just crap. its just that the good people like myself are just never known of because we're in disguise, and its the stupid and evil motherfuckers who always get caught doing harm to children. if you think otherwise, go fuck yourself.

I fell in love with a boy aged 11 and he knows i love him, but he of course only loves me as a friend. He will grow, get a hundred girlfriends, pick one to get married with her, have kids and forget about me.

Translate that to your own situation if you like.

I am a person who shouldn't love a child that way and i i cant ever be loved that way from a child. Destination: solitude.

i want to kill myself because i dont want to ever fall in love with anyone ever because it rips my heart out and i am a very lonely person, i need people to be happy. i have talents, gifts and blessings, but they all mean nothing to me because i can't ever be loved. i love that boy so much i wish i was a beautiful little girl so he could love me. fuck life. feel free to insult me so i get more depressed and finally kill myself.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 27,Feb,10 08:42

First,get counseling. Get out more, join a club, meet new people, get a hobby and in this way, you will change your mind-set. Just make sure that the people you meet are your age or older. Keep away from children!
By anonymous at 02,Mar,10 11:27

i agree. fuck all those other comments. those people dont know jack shit. Fuck them. do what you, and they cant do fuck all

By anonymous at 27,Feb,10 19:16

Go kill yourself or take yourself to the police right away you dirty fuck. Go to a nut house, youre one sick fucker. if i woned this site id track your ip and then go straight to your isp and report you. You bastard lowlife . God Im sick of you lowlives.. life sucks Now cuz we cant rape children?+ Doesnt this beat all????
By anonymous at 29,Oct,10 06:38

i'm with you on that one SICK FUCKIN' WORLD!

By anonymous at 28,Feb,10 19:15

I have forwarded this to authorities. Stay away from kids. People like you don't change, not from what I've seen. It's unfortunate, for everyone concerned, but ultimately you are the one who is control of what you do or don't do. Don't act on your thoughts, don't feed them in any way. The best scenario here would be one where you just wrote this stuff to freak everyone out. I will pray that's how this turns out, while knowing that whether this is a hoax or not, there are thousands of people like you describe who are sick, and are ruining lives.
By anonymous at 28,Feb,10 22:21

you forwarded this to authorites? wow you must really be perfect!
By anonymous at 01,Mar,10 20:35

Good for you anon!! And wow the reply you got "you must really be perfect" errrmmm?? WOW. WOW.
By anonymous at 02,Mar,10 17:42

hmm i'm watching the clock tick all around, am i crazy? maybe you should forwarded me to the authorities too before i become physcho!. give the guy a break!
By anonymous at 27,Aug,10 20:55 Fold Up

Why the fuck would you even say you've forwarded this to authorities? Is it some fucking stupid attempt to make him feel bad? perhaps he'll change his ways if you just threaten him. It's a psychological condition and because of blind hate like yours we are no closer to helping these individuals. The sooner we help figure this out the sooner little boys and girls no longer have to fear being taken advantage of by pedophiles.

By robbie at 28,Feb,10 21:26

Jesus Fucking Christ............. the guy said he knows it is wrong and he is not going to do it. Why does everyone have to give him so much shit. He thinks what he thinks and feels what he feels and those things you can not just change. But if he knows that he should not do something and he is NOT going to do it.......WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM? Honestly some people think he should just say:I don't want to like guys(and what he does not like guys no more),I don't want to be depressed (and he should not be depressed no more), I don't want to think about death(and he doesn't think about death no more). And the big one:I don't want to be attracted to little boys(or girls for other poeple)and that means he won't be attracted to them. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!!!!!! Just because he thinks something does not make him a bad person. It is by our actions that we are (should be) jugded. He did not do anything wrong!!!!!! He may not think like the 'average' person, but so what.

Allu, I may not be thrilled of the things that you are dealing with, but I can understand the feeling alone part and the wanting to be with someone and then not being able to. I can't understand your pain completely, but I am sorry for what you are going through. For the people on here who have no sympathy for someone who did nothing wrong. WORRY ABOUT YOURSELVES.
By anonymous at 01,Mar,10 20:44

fuck you. he did nothing wrong? i suppose wacking off to a little boy he already seems to have a strange and growing close relationship with is doing nothing wrong. I even had one whore abuser call me a conservative. Oh you conservatives. No i wont give you a break and i wont give him one either because you can contemplate stealing day in and out and fondle the package for so long till you see and opening to do it.. yeah whatever... hell do it as soon as possible. you disgust me. i hope your children get molleested, but i dont i hope you never have any because mollestors are evident here in thier responses and my arent there a ton.
By anonymous at 27,Aug,10 20:58

So if I imagine myself fucking a donkey i'm clearly doing something wrong? Am I hurting myself? No. Am I hurting others? No. He has commited no wrong doing and jerk offs like you who actually wish molestation on some one are the ones who should be scolded and looked down upon.

By anonymous at 01,Mar,10 20:40

My brothers babysitter molested him, then he molested me cuz of all the stuff he learned.... well needless to say it messed up my LIFE. A child should discover sex on his own terms, with peers his own age, not with you you old dirty pig. Let children live sex free with innocence!!! Why do people wanna take that from children!! Its so sick and wrong and they cant even see its wrong. Its disgusting and perverse. If kids dont understand whats right and wrong about sex they will end up molesting their own family.. then whoops.. that was wrong? Well now too late cuz everything messed up. My brother became a douchbag cuz of what his babysitter did. The dirty whore. I hope home wreckers and child abuser like you go straight to hell and die an agonizing death on the way there, you have no clue of the agony you cause.
By anonymous at 29,Oct,10 06:43

At last, someone with normal thinking process! Fantasizing about children is not only wrong and disgusting....It's downright murder of soul....ROT IN HELL PEDOPHILES!

By anonymous at 01,Mar,10 20:40

My brothers babysitter molested him, then he molested me cuz of all the stuff he learned.... well needless to say it messed up my LIFE. A child should discover sex on his own terms, with peers his own age, not with you you old dirty pig. Let children live sex free with innocence!!! Why do people wanna take that from children!! Its so sick and wrong and they cant even see its wrong. Its disgusting and perverse. If kids dont understand whats right and wrong about sex they will end up molesting their own family.. then whoops.. that was wrong? Well now too late cuz everything messed up. My brother became a douchbag cuz of what his babysitter did. The dirty whore. I hope home wreckers and child abuser like you go straight to hell and die an agonizing death on the way there, you have no clue of the agony you cause.
By anonymous at 27,Aug,10 21:01

So by that logic your brother should go to hell correct? Even though what he did wasn't his fault it was the fault of the original molester. But that doesn't matter because there is no hell you bible banging twat

By anonymous at 02,Mar,10 15:46

Please get the help that you need to deal with your condition and help control your urges, I know there is help out there for your issue. You are only 23 and still have much life ahead of you. Please never hurt a child it affects them for their entire life they deserve to be innocent to take away their innocence for your own selfish desire,That would be horrid i mean think back to when you were their age you only get to be a child once don't take their childhood away.

By at 02,Mar,10 20:37

1. Get help
2. Make yourself a priority in your life.
3. Never, Ever harm a child to satisfy your urges.
4. Remember a child is not capable of having a romantic relationship. (They are not wired that way)
I wish you luck because I can tell that you need all that you can get...
*Those of you who are so quick to judge; remember everything you send out comes back to you three-fold... For the holy rollers: is that how you believe Jesus should treat him, or you? I too am a survivor, and I still have a decent bone in my body!! Go figure!

By at 04,Mar,10 00:01

Anonymous, yo!,
You're absolutely right, Jesus would not condemn. In the Bible there were demon possessions, people living in constant torment. And when they cried out to Him, he healed them. But what about the ones who stayed in the cave, were they healed? No. If you want to end this, you have to run to Him, confess, and ask for forgiveness. What do you have to loose?

Allu, You're going down a deep dark path. The further you go, the darker it is and the harder it is to turn around. You're obviously looking for answers otherwise you wouldn't of posted. At this point you can still turn around. But don't wait, do it now. This is an addiction and it will not satisfy because your looking at things that you can't have. So why would you want to continue going through this in pain? If you stay where you’re at, you will never get anywhere. 10 years from now you could be in the same depressing state. It doesn't have to be this way. I'm sure it's hard, live is hard, and it sometimes sucks. But my God overcame the problems of this world. He can help you change if you really want to.

So you say you don't run around in a trench coat, I guess your saying your not doing anything illegal. So it's all confined to your thoughts? But by listening to your comments, it's sounds like your a prisoner to your own desires. Dude, break out of jail and start over. You have decades of life ahead of you. Others have done it & you can too. I wanted to end it all when I was 21. Looking back, I am soooo glad i didn't! Life does get better.

By at 04,Mar,10 03:46

you are still very young, you are only 23 and might be confused at the moment. i think things can change for you! go for therapy and talk about it. don't get into trouble, if you are religious maybe a priest/pastor might help you, i do not mean to forgive sins or such stuff, just to advise you.. sometimes they know more than psychologists. I'm sure you will find a partner once in your age and you will fall in love :)

By at 04,Mar,10 05:13

Wow you're right that really does suck. Thank you for actively restraining yourself from raping or abusing any children, that's more than a lot can say. Seek counseling if you like, but I don't think that pedophilia is a disease or a simple matter of changing your mind set any more than being gay is, just less socially acceptable.
I can only offer you my sympathies for your situation. In ancient Greece, considered by many to be the epitome of human civilization (compared to this piece of shit today), it was considered perfectly normal for adult men to have relationships with little boys. That probably didn't do very much to make you feel better. Please don't kill yourself! There are plenty of "normal" people who never fall in love or have sex with anyone their whole lives. Shit, I wish I had something helpful to say.

By at 04,Mar,10 05:33

And for all you deeply religious condemners, think of how many children have been ACTUALLY raped by priests (among other sex crimes) compared to this guy who has not raped ANYBODY and clearly doesn't intend on raping anyone, he's only looking for a love he can't have.
By robbie at 04,Mar,10 13:37

I agreee. It may not be condoned in our society, but he knows that he should not do it and he did NOT do it. People are so quick to judge, just because of thoughts. If we are going to ostrisize and punish someone for there thoughts, we are in deep trouble as a society. I admit I don't have all the answers, but I do know I would not punish Allu because of what he thinks. It is our actions that make us who we are.

And for all the people who have been molested or raped by someone, I am sorry and I can never know your pain, but this guy was NOT the one who did that crime. Be mad at the people who are actully doing that kind of thing.

I also agreee about it not being a disease and being more related to our chemical and biological make up as an individual person. With that said I also don't have a solution as how to be productive in this world with that kind of 'weight' holding someone down. I am glad you did not follow your urges. I also hope that you do find love and happiness in this cruel world.

By anonymous at 18,Mar,10 21:29

Wow!!! I must agree, you really need the counseling. But, I think you need more than just counseling. If you really didn't want the help, you would not have shared this information with the rest of us. You really need to help, leave the little boys alone. Jail will not be a good place for you and you know the reason why. I strongly urge you to go to a mental health center. No just a private psychiatrist, the reason being, at the Mental Heath Center, if they feel that you need more. There is an entire Assertive Community Treatment Team of case managers/counselors, psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse, and peer specialists who provide assistance to you and they can be in your life every day if your treatment requires that. Don't mess with children, they need to have a chance in life. You get the help that you need and do it really soon. Please !!!!

By anonymous at 20,Sep,10 19:24

Its good he is at least admitting it,give him credit for that, he is way better than a secret sicko.
Couldn't you go on living even if you chopped your penis off?
Stick yours legs on a train track and get crippled in a wheel chair to render yourself inoffensive, then go and love someone without being a menace to little kids.
When you die,go stab God in the heart for making you like that.

By at 04,Nov,10 22:58

Humans have always worked. Work was key to our biological development, shaping our bodies and sharpening our minds. One million years ago we first worked stones into tools and half a million years ago first worked with fire. For the last ten thousand years we have ugg boots cheapest worked the land and for five thousand years have worked metals. Although we have always worked, we have not always held the same opinions about work. A brief survey of those cultures that have most influenced American opinions about work will make this clear and at the same time provide the perspective necessary for understanding the significance of work in American culture.

By anonymous at 12,Nov,10 20:56

i just found out my best friend is a back stabbing bitch so i'm never going 2 talk to her and i told her while your stabbing my back you can kiss my ass. Her name is jaz fyi i hope you read this you bitch

By at 28,Nov,10 19:50

I find it funny that postings from gay pedophiles, and news stories about them, get a lot more moral judgment than those from heterosexual pedophiles, or pedophiles who don't specify a gender preference. The fevered responses to these seem to me really something like 70% disgust at homosexuality and only about 30% disgust at pedophilia, from people who are closet homophobes, and perhaps even a tiny bit gay themselves.

Men who like little girls are more sympathetic and less disgusting for some reason. I guess at least they like girls, so they're a bit more "normal" and similar to "us", eh?

Anyway. Yeah it must really suck to be a pedophile, gay or not. It's not only illegal, but it's something people feel comfortable berating you for despite the fact that it's something you can't help and that nobody's ever been cured of.

I think even people with rape and murder fantasies get more sympathy than pedophiles do. It doesn't make sense from an objective standpoint; people lose all objectivity when sexuality and children are mentioned in the same sentence. And they all reinforce each other's illogical reactions, in, as Parenti put it, "that centuries-old unanimity of bias that is often mistaken for objectivity".

By anonymous at 11,Jan,11 18:35

ur fuked

By anonymous at 15,Feb,11 18:58

Ya. Go die.

By anonymous at 17,Apr,13 16:10

peadophiles are ill, they should be detained in an institution until cured!! or have their balls cut off!! sorted!!

By anonymous at 18,Apr,13 23:15

Honestly there is nothing wrong. Clearly he won't do that nasty stuff to kids! Just leave him the fuckk alone!

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