I m a 18 years, for the world adult. who can hav the rights to take there own decesion. actualy, where i should start my story. i hav mom n dad but i had lived ye that i havnt anyone in this world..
My mom is mently disturb sience my younger brother was born.at that time, m just 1 year old. my mom was going anywhere. then till i coplete my 10th standard me n my brothers are moved with my grandma, but she always reminds me that my mom is mental. n was child n sensible. since then i always crying n crying by seeing someones mom loving him or her. n my dad was in other town for job. i m always in high depresion.n hadnt anyone with whom i can cry on his/her shoulder...
after 10th, before last three years i moved with my mom n dad. but my mom is not realizing that i m her dauther n she alway bit me n never behave with me like my mother.. it hurts me even more than before.. my dad never lived with us so he dont know that how to be a father. he always be us like a naboure uncle..
i hav parents but i never had there love..:(
now my friends.. i m a prety scholar student in my school life.. but when i was child... to now i m adult... m always in depresion, so everyone thinks that i m very bore girl... they only always give me sympathy, n shows me that they care me, only shake for exam time help... i hate sympathy. i want always a real care from heart, but i never given by anyone..
people think that m bore so i havnt much friends... they r there only for there need... people give me always fake sympathy so i never open up myself...
now i m going to mad.. bcoz i hav lots of only tension n tension in my life. there many things that m not telling here.....
now i havnt confidence to face the world.. i have knowledge but no use without self confidence.. i cant talk with boys..
i want someone, with whom i can cry on his shoulder, who will not gav me a fake sympathy but realy care for me, who will patted on my back n say.. just go i will be there for u.. who can slaps me on my wrong turns.. who realy love me.. who not tell that i can give u amoon n stars, but says its urs, u can touch it by ur highers..
and unfortunately i m a very decent girl. i never take wrong step yet bcoz my mind never allow me that.. so i want lots of lots of love but i havnt it another way...
i always a love starved girl but i never get it in any way in my life.. i want to lave someone n want someones love.. but i havnt anyone mom, dad, brother, sister, relative, friends, bf.. no one..
is that i never got love in my life... i always afraid to thinking that..m going mad this depresion n tension n tension...i thought many times for suicide, but my mind said that u r loser. lets face.. i hav a habit to read the books.. n it saves me till today..
life always suck n fucks very badly... but truth is, its going on.. n may be there will more worse than today.. hope so its not like that.. | |
Love n hugs
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