I'm 16 and alone, so, so, alone. I have friends who call me and people who talk to me, but they don't want to talk to the real me. They only want to talk to who I've become. Im weird, I'm different, I never quite fit in. I realized that around 14 and decided I needed to change and become friends with all the popular girls. So I did, and it worked, and before I knew it I was partying with all the "cool" kids. I went from being a complete loser to doing kegstands. But it didn't make me happy. Instead, I found myself more alone... just surrounded by a bunch of superficial bitches who didn't give a shit about me and could care less if I was dead. They only liked me because I was the only one who actually cared about them, and they knew it, so they take advantage of me. I'm the one who drives them around and fixes there problems. But they don't care about me. I went to rehab for two weeks suddenly and unexpectedly. I resorted to oxy to cure my depression, and ended up getting in trouble with the law bad, and dissapeared without telling a single person. When I got back, I turned on my cell phone. No calls. No texts. When I went back to school my "best friend" told me all about her homecoming delima, and no one asked about rehab. That was the first time I really saw that the world could go on without me. I had just gotten done with the most intensive two weeks of my life and I was shot down when I needed help the most. And things are just getting worse now. On friday I got alchohol poisoning at the school football game and had to go to the hospital. Now I'm suspended for a week and, again, no one cares. Everyone is still talking about this weekends parties.
Trust me, just because your not alone doesn't meen your not lonely. In some ways, having friends who don't give two shits about you is worse than having no friends at all... I hate feeling like this. I feel so used, so taken advantage of, so uninportant and so unlistened too. I don't belong at my high school and I don't belong here... I'm only a junior but still I'm so done. They are all such selfish synical people... when our best friend died from drunk driving in April they were out drinking the next weekend, and I'm not even half the person he was. If I died they wouldn't even come to my funeral. I'm so unexplanibly lonely... just a 16 year old girl who's completely fake. They all think I'm like them. Gross boys are always using me and only talk to me because they want some action. No one loves me for me. No one ever talks to me just to talk. They always need something... a favor, a hookup, a ride... I am so lonely I can feel my heart breaking. | |
But..
I also know what it feels like to had a "friend" that had to CHANGE and then left me for the POPULAR crowd. Sorry for this, but sounds as you asked for it by putting on that fake mask.
And if it's true and they don't give a shit about you. Do you think they give a shit about each other? Then ask yourself if you wanna be surrounded by them.
Do yourself a favor, take off that fake mask and be your wierld and UNIQUE self. Focus on school work (I regret not going class). Give this a try, if you ever get stuck on homework, ask that lonely dorky girl for some help, while at it, ask her what's she into, fav music, etc. Friendship can blossem from there. And if you're ever gone again, guess who will be worried you're not keeping up with your homework?
And TRUST ME ON THIS. Having 1 REAL friend is better then having 1,000 fake ones. Take from someone who have none.
Have fun! But take it easy. And Goodluck.
Sincerely, anonymous loser from the west coast.
just take care and cherish the friendship of those who love you.
dont try to be someone u r not
you r not perfect u dont need to be.
if you see world around u are also not happy by one or other reason.
some one lost his job, financial crises life is on the edge.
people living in old age home feeling lonely and at this stage of life there kids leaving happily and dnt bother about them.
people dont have food to eat no home any life become a fight for survival.
u want make frds look for th people who r in need and suffering from one or other reason.
help other surely u will feel better.
give some quality time to yourself start loving ur self one u see the difference in u and feel happy about ur life.
remember a universal fact of human life.
LIKE ATTRACT LIKE
START UR DAY WITH SMILE AND U WILL END UP DAY WITH MANY SMILING FACES.
:-)
GOD BLESS
Firstly, I came across this site and your blog totally by chance - I googled 'I'm so fucking bored and life really fucking sucks !' - and here I am replying to you.
I'm 36 (37 next month) and all I can say is 'welcome to life and 'the real world'!'
As you grow up and older, you will realise that people are 'mostly' the same - no matter what age group they are in, nor what stage of life they are in. Everyone 'mostly' uses everyone all the time. It's a fact of life - come to accept it and don't expect any diferent from anyone or you have many many MANY disappointments coming your way...
Well done with your 2 weeks of rehab - I hope it planted a seed of strength in you that will grow stronger with you as you grow older :-)
You see, I used you to make myself feel better and me being so fucking bored and my life really fucking sucking !
In return, I hope I have helped you come to better terms with knowing that people 'mostly' don't give a shit about anything or anyone but themselves.
PS - I'm still fucking bored and life still really fucking sucks !
You know the saying 'I don't give a fuck'?
Try this...
'Hold on, I'm looking for a fuck to give....'
i have no friends at all and i feel the same.
33 yo now, and it doesnt gets better with time.
in fact it only gets worse.
i hate my life.
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