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Lonely

Posted by Summer at October 3, 2011
Tags: Loneliness  2011 October

I'm 16 and alone, so, so, alone. I have friends who call me and people who talk to me, but they don't want to talk to the real me. They only want to talk to who I've become. Im weird, I'm different, I never quite fit in. I realized that around 14 and decided I needed to change and become friends with all the popular girls. So I did, and it worked, and before I knew it I was partying with all the "cool" kids. I went from being a complete loser to doing kegstands. But it didn't make me happy. Instead, I found myself more alone... just surrounded by a bunch of superficial bitches who didn't give a shit about me and could care less if I was dead. They only liked me because I was the only one who actually cared about them, and they knew it, so they take advantage of me. I'm the one who drives them around and fixes there problems. But they don't care about me. I went to rehab for two weeks suddenly and unexpectedly. I resorted to oxy to cure my depression, and ended up getting in trouble with the law bad, and dissapeared without telling a single person. When I got back, I turned on my cell phone. No calls. No texts. When I went back to school my "best friend" told me all about her homecoming delima, and no one asked about rehab. That was the first time I really saw that the world could go on without me. I had just gotten done with the most intensive two weeks of my life and I was shot down when I needed help the most. And things are just getting worse now. On friday I got alchohol poisoning at the school football game and had to go to the hospital. Now I'm suspended for a week and, again, no one cares. Everyone is still talking about this weekends parties.

Trust me, just because your not alone doesn't meen your not lonely. In some ways, having friends who don't give two shits about you is worse than having no friends at all... I hate feeling like this. I feel so used, so taken advantage of, so uninportant and so unlistened too. I don't belong at my high school and I don't belong here... I'm only a junior but still I'm so done. They are all such selfish synical people... when our best friend died from drunk driving in April they were out drinking the next weekend, and I'm not even half the person he was. If I died they wouldn't even come to my funeral. I'm so unexplanibly lonely... just a 16 year old girl who's completely fake. They all think I'm like them. Gross boys are always using me and only talk to me because they want some action. No one loves me for me. No one ever talks to me just to talk. They always need something... a favor, a hookup, a ride... I am so lonely I can feel my heart breaking.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Just sad and lonely October 26, 2011
girl November 11, 2011
why m i so lonely  June 25, 2011
untitled story August 26, 2011
Mrs Lonely  February 23, 2012



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Comments:
By anonymous at 22,Nov,11 09:07

I definitely know how it feels like to be used, taken advantage of, then discarded back into the fire, and left for dead without a damn body giving two shit to save me. If I did survive on my own, none would care.

But..

I also know what it feels like to had a "friend" that had to CHANGE and then left me for the POPULAR crowd. Sorry for this, but sounds as you asked for it by putting on that fake mask.

And if it's true and they don't give a shit about you. Do you think they give a shit about each other? Then ask yourself if you wanna be surrounded by them.

Do yourself a favor, take off that fake mask and be your wierld and UNIQUE self. Focus on school work (I regret not going class). Give this a try, if you ever get stuck on homework, ask that lonely dorky girl for some help, while at it, ask her what's she into, fav music, etc. Friendship can blossem from there. And if you're ever gone again, guess who will be worried you're not keeping up with your homework?

And TRUST ME ON THIS. Having 1 REAL friend is better then having 1,000 fake ones. Take from someone who have none.

Have fun! But take it easy. And Goodluck.

Sincerely, anonymous loser from the west coast.


By anonymous at 22,Nov,11 10:50

i completely agree with you my friend one wants to be with the popular crowd and neglects those who r a little uncool probably that is what is happening to u too.

just take care and cherish the friendship of those who love you.

dont try to be someone u r not

you r not perfect u dont need to be.


By anonymous at 22,Nov,11 13:04

Hi,
if you see world around u are also not happy by one or other reason.
some one lost his job, financial crises life is on the edge.
people living in old age home feeling lonely and at this stage of life there kids leaving happily and dnt bother about them.

people dont have food to eat no home any life become a fight for survival.

u want make frds look for th people who r in need and suffering from one or other reason.

help other surely u will feel better.
give some quality time to yourself start loving ur self one u see the difference in u and feel happy about ur life.
remember a universal fact of human life.
LIKE ATTRACT LIKE

START UR DAY WITH SMILE AND U WILL END UP DAY WITH MANY SMILING FACES.
:-)
GOD BLESS


By Russell at 22,Nov,11 17:01

Hey Summer. I feel similar and would like to talk br0. If you feel you wanna chat br0, my msn is russell2k10@live.co.uk. Take care bud! (:


By anonymous at 22,Nov,11 23:02

I've had similar experiences my entire life. I agree it would be great to have someone to really talk to but in the end I doubt there is anyone out there.
By IRISHKEN at 26,Nov,11 19:18

GUYS AND GIRLS I HAVE LIVED IN NORTHEN IRELAND ALL MY LIFE TALK ABOUT TRYING TO FIT IN AT SIXTEEN WATCHING MY BEST FREIND BE MURED RIGHT IN FRONT OFME JUST BECAUSE HE LIKE SOMEONES GIRL HOW SICK IS THAT ,THIS AND MANY OTHER THINGS BROUGHT MY LIFE TO A STOP TRYING TO FIT INN ALL OF MY LIFE ,BCOMEING A ALCOHOLIC THAT F--- S YOU RIGHT UP WELL THE GOOD NEWS I HAVE 1 YEAR CLEAN AND I AM FINDING LIFE IS NOT SO HARD AND BEING YOUR SELF IS A LEARING AND I LIKE IT ,I STARTED TO SAY THIS OFTEN KNOW ITS IS PART OF ME EACH TIME I FIND DOUGHT IN MY MIND GRANT ME THESERENTY TO ACCEPT THE things I CAN NOT CHANGES courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference TRY IT IT MAY HELP ASHOULD YOU NEED ANY ENCORGMENT WRIGHT IRISHKEN10@HOTMAIL.COM AS WE SAY IN IRELAND KEEP THE FAITH
By anonymous at 26,Nov,11 19:22

thank you


By honest - anonymous at 23,Nov,11 06:07

Hi from South Africa.
Firstly, I came across this site and your blog totally by chance - I googled 'I'm so fucking bored and life really fucking sucks !' - and here I am replying to you.

I'm 36 (37 next month) and all I can say is 'welcome to life and 'the real world'!'

As you grow up and older, you will realise that people are 'mostly' the same - no matter what age group they are in, nor what stage of life they are in. Everyone 'mostly' uses everyone all the time. It's a fact of life - come to accept it and don't expect any diferent from anyone or you have many many MANY disappointments coming your way...

Well done with your 2 weeks of rehab - I hope it planted a seed of strength in you that will grow stronger with you as you grow older :-)

You see, I used you to make myself feel better and me being so fucking bored and my life really fucking sucking !

In return, I hope I have helped you come to better terms with knowing that people 'mostly' don't give a shit about anything or anyone but themselves.

PS - I'm still fucking bored and life still really fucking sucks !


By honest - anonymous at 23,Nov,11 06:15

Hmmm, sorry if I was too crude..... It was my first online blog entry (or whatever you call this)..... perhaps my attempt at cheering you up is a FAIL...

You know the saying 'I don't give a fuck'?
Try this...
'Hold on, I'm looking for a fuck to give....'


By WinterStorm at 23,Nov,11 19:54

I know exactly how you feel.
i have no friends at all and i feel the same.
33 yo now, and it doesnt gets better with time.
in fact it only gets worse.
i hate my life.
By anonymous at 25,Nov,11 08:22

change it. u need friends? how many people can be in the same place with the same problems? wake up. why cannot unhappy people be friends with each other? there's 50 people say they have no friends on this site. there's enough of us that we could be each others friends. if everyone would stop feeling sorry for there self maybe we could look up and notice all the others saying the samething and we could be friends.


By anonymous at 25,Nov,11 08:16

please don't let other depressed people bring u down with it never gets better, and it just get harder. thats not the case if u don't choose it to be. i was the same way, still am. ur not weird u a person who isn't by the same old mold. those people aren't happy, being fake doesnt help with anything but getting through school to the real world. life is hard but its ur choice to embace it and make it worth wild. or let it get u down. the "weird " ones are the ones that r true to there self, and no one else can like u if u don't like ur self. be true to ur self, love ur self and do the things that make u happy if u do that u will find "true" happiness and not just a mask.


By Killing Loneliness at 25,Nov,11 09:53

I know exactly how you feel, and Im not just sayin this to make you feel better, I actually feel just like that. Loneliness, sadness, evil and cruelty is all I see in this world, and theres just no cure... I resort to drinkin and gettin fucked up so I wouldnt have to think about this... People like us want to find a TRUE friend so bad, a friend who likes them for who they are, but sadly it seems they only true friend I have is alcohol... I dont care if I die, rather I look forward to it, patiently. Lonely 16 yr old here...


By anonymous at 26,Nov,11 00:48

I feel so invisible most of the time except when someone needs a yes man!I've been an clean for 14 years now and still find it hard to forgive myself for some of the shit I did..recently I got in contact with an old dear friend and I hoped that she would make me feel like I did with her when we were younger but that didn't happen and now I'm questioning our friendship! You have to find a way to live with what you have , I've got fuck all but a lonely heart and an invisible hope! Hope that cheered you up


By anonymous at 26,Nov,11 16:40

cant belive some of these comments.young person says they're lonely and they get back negativity and it never gets better.life has good and bad days but help the young girl focus on the positive.life can be good and the only person who can make your life better is yourself!!look for positives..volunteer to work with people who need support..visit old folks homes.befriend young people with disabilities, young folk in care who need friends...best way to feel less lonely is give yourself and time to others less fortunate. dont mix with the false people that are in your life and using you...be you and make life what you want it!!


By anonymous at 26,Nov,11 22:02

Friends, how many of us have them ,friends, the ones we can depend on, friends...


By anonymous at 01,Dec,11 19:50

oh wow. I know that feeling BIG time. I had some ''friends'' and they only liked me because I was nice and listened to them. I ended up getting used, had my money stolen, etc. etc. I was high and feeling really scared and they didn't care at all. Guess what? I am soooo through with those type of people and I am not desparate to hang out with them. I would much rather be drug free, sober, and studying at home than hang out with losers. Take my advice and do the same.


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