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My boyfriend ruined my life

Posted by anonymous at October 7, 2011
Tags: Money  2011 October  Relationship

I met my boyfriend of 3 years ago on the internet and i have not been dating anyone for the last 13 years, i was heart broken from previous marriage.. and i said to myself i will never ever put myself in situation again after failed marriage and lived my life single and fairly happy..
I was quite naive due fact that i was out of dating for a long time, when i decided to date again, I thought he would be a nice person to have a life and family together.. He lied to me about his children, he told me that he did not have any children then when we met he told me that he has 2 grown up children i thought okey no problem, then he took me to Paris after dating 4 months and I took him this very expensive shop to buy a present to say thank you because he paid for the travel and hotel... As i was about to buy the present he did not let me buy it and he was insisted that he needed to tell me something else.. I was curious but did not think of any thing bad.. then he told me he has another child younger.. I still stupidly did not think anything and said okey but I asked why he did not tell me in the first place... Anyway... Couple of months later he moved in with me, he was not paying any bills or rent.. then I asked him if he would share some of the bills and he said yes and started to share half of the bills and the rent.. I believe now if I did not ask him he would not offered it..
In the mean time I was very stupid and did not know how to say that what i was expected in this relationship i.e. marriage eventually and have at least one child together..

Then everything started fell apart,, he also lied to me that he has medical condition and taking medication which is very serious which you cant have a child while he is on this medication,, I searched his condition and his medication, I tried to help him with natural remedies etc. which he could but he definitely was not up for it.. stubborn man.. I bought machines makes the water better cost around $2000, vitamins and making him juices but he never wanted any of these and just ignored me like I did not even existed, then we started to argue all the time.. I was not used to this and started to effect my work and my drive in life.. All he wanted me, I should not say anything to him, or ask him, or open my mouth. Just be there and usual girlfriend staff.. I have never argued in my life with someone some much..

Slowly but he never ever let go off me, every time I told him to leave me he will say sorry and please don't leave me, lets try it again and I was worried about his health condition and I always gave in.

It was a torture, he was also bit of sex addict, i got to stage where I started to resent him and did not want to have sex with him and we were arguing even more and more.

But the worst thing he did to me was my family life in a different country and my sister never ever visited me and she came with her daughter and he and I was still arguing and he was not leaving me, I used to get tired and give up.. Anyway second day of my sister visit we went out together with him and I told him that we will visit him, which he was staying in different city. By this time I managed to make move out but he was still around me.. I stupidly again told him at the dinner we will going with together and all he said was with this stupid and lost face my son is not coming this weekend.. I was expecting him to say, Yes lets go together and we can show them around and we will have a good time none of those.. And again we started to argue at the restaurant and he walked away from us..

I was really stressed out and was not working much and i got in a panic that i would not be able to financially be there for my sisters visit.. on top of arguing with him all the time.. then my sister and i got an argument over very very stupid reason.. and she lost it and started to shout at me at my home, i was so scared I ran away from the flat without shoes nothing just picked up my bag.. then she left and i had no idea what i was doing.. Now family does not talk to me and I became the enemy of my family..

Couple of times I thought about committing suicide but I knew that If I do that I still have to come back and re live the life again..

I fell very weak could not work at all lost my self employed job with no money.. Then he came again and again I was so weak and terrified about life, security and everything.. I thought I will live with him (what a twat I am) and moved to his place..
One of my friend owed me $6000 and she returned that money to me while I was with him I spend the money on food shopping, buying vacuum cleaner and general house hold staff to make the place nice but this time, we hardly talk just like a machine.. I dont love him, I dont have sex with him..

When he comes home he has his meal then watch some tv and go to bed around 9.30 and I will stay up late and ignore him..

Everytime I want to talk to him he ignores me, or becomes this brick wall.

Now I have only $400 and I don't care if I clean toilets or whatever I am leaving him,, I am actually packing my stuff..
But I cant take my bed and all this good stuff cause they are heavy and quite expensive but do I care now.. nooooooooo I don't give fuck about it..

You may think, I am stupid and I think I am very stupid..

But I tell you something I wish I could of listened my gut in the very first time.. When he first stayed overnight in my place after he left, I went to shower as I water started drop in my head images of me came like a flash .. saw my self screaming almost like crazy...it took me couple of minutes to calm down then my gut knew that he was not the right person but I went against my gut feeling and there I am writing this.

I don't feel bad about life.. Life is good, I made very bad choice even life gave me warning I still ignored it..

And now with nothing I have to start all over again at the age of 43...

Thank you for reading, hope some one can benefit from my experience and not to have the same mistake, I think some how life gives us some warning and our gut feeling is always right.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
wasted life September 25, 2011
Unrequited love again and again  January 8, 2012
Ruined my life... December 29, 2011
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Comments:
By jueves at 20,Feb,12 00:25

"life is good, i made very bad choices even if life gave me warnings" totally understand you!! I also did a mistake and from that point on everything turn out in a different direction, I can't blame my parents or the other person or whatever, we are the ones that take decisions: good or bad ones, FOLLOW YOUR GUT and good luck in everything. it is never too late to start over :)


By crorkz jremy at 23,Nov,14 10:17

Kd4ap0 There's noticeably a bundle to learn about this. I assume you made certain good factors in features also.


By Royal CBD at 28,Sep,20 15:07

1yEitP Im obliged for the post.Thanks Again. Much obliged.


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