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lifes a fucking letdown

Posted by johnny thor. at October 8, 2011
Tags: Family  Health  Life Story  2011 October

... i was born into this world to a father who wouldn't sign my birth cirtificate so im a bastard. my mom is a druggie and my father is a bipolar alcoholic who will beat the shit out of anyone just cuz he's mad. the fights there were crazy and the shit i saw like people overdoseing still scars me. at one point dad left and my mom brought in a complete stranger... i walkd inside one day and sat in another room and then heard screams of "no! stop! help!" i walked in to see my mom getting raped at 6 years old it still haunts me so that i have no sexual disire. while being raised in this household no kids lived near me so i created imaginary friends well after 8 years old they weren't so imaginary (they would talk to me with out me thinking about them) i was forced out of my parents home and moved to my grandparents.. life got better ecept for the next 8 years i stayed in that house with out ever hanging out with any kids watso ever and considerd a curse brought be satan... a bastard child... i was dignosed with ADD ADHD MDD OCD BPD and partialy schizo... i cant get along with anyone my age because im too wierd. when i turnd 17 i met a girl and for the first time in my life felt accepted and love.. she was my first kiss, girlfriend, love and all that. i began to believe in God and go to church and my grandparents finally accepted and loved me... then i got caught by a friend of my girlfriend with my hand in her pants. because she wantd she ran to tell my girl's father who was the youth minister at my church. he kickd me outta the church forced me to tell my grandparents and then took my girl and moved 7 states away. in one night i love my first love, my grandparents respectand love and my religion and the few friends i had. at this time my MDD(major depressive dissorder) went over phyco levels i tried suicide but faild but no one found out so i was ok... i became anti social and bitter not talking to anyone. i soon got a job and met a young girl by the name of... well lets say meg. i was so sick with life i was going to kill myself once again but she randomly asked me out and was soo nice to me i decided not to. we hung out a lot but then she ust quit talking to me and ignored me this botherd my BPD(borderline personality disorder) i went on with life for about 3 weeks of lonelyness then took a bottle of sleeping pills but these pills where made so that u couldnt overdose ust stay sidated for at most 1 to two days.. this time i got caught and sent to a mental hospital. i was acctualy very happy in there i met so many people and still keep up with them to this day but more on that later... then when i got out i met a boy named.... lets say mat. mat was gay and i was ok with that i am openmided to people though i was straight. we hung out all the time and eventually i got super drunk at a party and he admited he had feeling for me we ened up making out for about 2 hours and when i went inside to tell every1 goodnigh i didnt know i had enough hickies to turn my neck black... they all gave me hell cuz they knew who i was with.. im 18 now no girlfriend no boyfriend. no job no money. got kick outta my home. and i found out today a very good friend of mine decided to take a bottle of pills and a bottle of vodka and then slit each wrist... FML im so very alone


Votes:


Similar Entries:
depressed November 10, 2011
Lifes so fucked i dont know where to start!!! June 24, 2011
lifes a shit August 4, 2011
I HATE MY LIFE March 20, 2012
life... September 27, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 26,Nov,11 21:01

Is this post for real?


By anonymous at 27,Nov,11 15:09

You are gay. Straight boys don't "make out" with gay boys no matter how much they've had to drink.
Embrace your gayness, it will clear up much of the ersatz psycho nonsense they've convinced you that you are suffering with/from.
You don't have any mental problems other than denying your homosexuality. Everything else is a symptom of that.
Next time you feel like crying, stuff a penis in your mouth to stop the weeping and HAVE FUN!


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