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no end in sight

Posted by anonymous at October 12, 2011
Tags: Family  Money  2011 October  Unemployment

I know nobody is going to read this, but sometimes it is just a release to get one's feelings "out there".

I am a 38 year old obese, balding woman. I was fired a year and a half ago from a company that I worked for for twelve years. I was a good employee but the company was sold and went through many changes in a short amount of time. In short, I had ONE BAD MONTH and after twelve years of great reviews, I got let go. Because I am stupid and got myself into debt ($60,000), I had to have my 71 year old mother move in with me. Although she only lives on Social Security, she has more money than I do and I cannot afford to live by myself.

There is no one in my family that can help me and my mother never lets me forget how irresponsible I was to get myself into so much trouble. Now I have NO SAY in anything! My entire life revolves around keeping her "satisfied" with her life. We rent from a friend who is giving us a great deal on the place, but my mom is never satisfied with anything. I can't do anything right for her. To make matters worse, she keeps bugging our land lady about every little thing, so her son called me today and said that we were free to move out and HE would rent the place for $300 more a month than what we are paying. Of course he has nothing to do with our lease, but now my mom wants to move out on me and I have no place to go.

It took me a lifetime to get the few meager things I have and I don't want to sell my stuff for a pittence and live in a homeless shelter. I may have to, though, because I still have not found a job. There is nothing out there for someone with no skills.

My unemployment is running out. I need a job, but not just any job! I need one that will allow me to pay rent AND pay my debts. I hate that my life revolves around my lack of money! I don't even have friends to call on for comfort! They have all moved away and are living great lives.

Which brings me to my other point. I have no purpose to my life. All I wanted as a little girl was to get married and have kids. I didn't expect great things, just a family. Unfortunately I have emotional problems (as well as being ugly) and never had a relationship. My mother was abusive when I was growing up. She tried suicide many times, tired killing my dad many times, and beat the crap out of some of us. She isn't enitirely well mentally and I have to deal with her irrational behavior. I probably got my emotional problems from her.

There just doesn't seem to be a way out. I have reconciled myself with not getting married, so I tried to develope new dreams. I went back to school. It is only community college and I am taking classes to be an Administrative Proffessional. I am not far enough along in the program to get a job out of it, but I don't want to even be in that field. I have no idea what I want. I don't know what I would be good at. I have no talents or inclination in any direction. But I must work and I am afraid that the only employment I find will be as crappy as the job I lost. I hated it there. It was dirty, smelly, and back-breaking. I don't want to hate my job and I am afraid that I have no options.

My car is dying- no money to fix it.

I am such a looser. I hate my life and I just want to fall asleep and not wake up.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
dead inside October 5, 2011
untitled story May 17, 2012
What The F**k Happen??? May 19, 2011
why does this sight matter March 27, 2010
my life at home stinks  April 19, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 29,Nov,11 17:46

ha ha!

fat fuck!
By anonymous at 30,Nov,11 19:36

Ha ha!

Ignorant piece of shit.
By anonymous at 13,Dec,11 20:02 Fold Up

How do you know this person is FAT????


By anonymous at 30,Nov,11 03:12

NEXT!!!!
By anonymous at 30,Nov,11 19:37

How about you go read something else and dont waste your time posting a comment then, fucking douche.
By anonymous at 11,Dec,11 02:07

Fuck your self! ^


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 01:52

AND YOUR IGNORANT!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 01:55

FUCK YOU!! You wana go!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:00

GO WHERE!!! ASS HOLE!!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:03

TO SETTLE THIS SHIT!!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:09

BRING IT THEN MOTHER FUCKER!!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:15

WHERE, WHEN, AND WHAT TIME WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED!!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:18

I CAN BEAT YOUR ASS ANYWHERE,ANYTIME! YOU FUCK!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:21

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:27

No,No,No, FUUUUCK YOU!!! Or better yet FUCK YOU BACK WITH A BASE BALL BAT MAKE YOUR PUSSY GO QUACK QUACK QUACK ! YOU PUSSY!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:33

Heeellooo.im waiting for your reply.. THATS RIGHT AINT GOT NOTHING TO SAY NOW HUH YOUR STUCK..!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:37

FUCK YOU!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:42

Come and FUCK ME THEN..OH AND LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU " wana go " SO I CAN BRING MY CAT SO I CAN THROW HIM AT YOU..!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 02:46

What the fuck is your cat gona do!!! This is between you and me!!!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 03:02

He's gona PARK HIS NAILS IN YOUR FACE!! Thats what he's gona do! And this isn't between me and you this is between PUSSIES, MY CAT IS A PUSSY CAT AND YOUR A PUSSY so U 2 pussies go at it and let me know how it goes.. FUCK U AND GOOD NIGHT..


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 03:12

Aaaaand cut..!! Ladies and gentlemen thank you for tuning in to LIFE SUCKS, please join us from Mon.- sun. From what ever time you wake up to whatever time you go to bed.thank you and good night.


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 03:16

FUCK YOU! And your fucking pussy cat.


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 03:21

Yes my cat is a PUSSY CAT BY NATURE, WHATS YOUR EXCUSE FOR BEING A PUSSY?DONT THINK TO HARD YOU MIGHT KILL THE 2 BRAIN CELLS YOU HAVE LEFT.. PUSSY..


By anonymous at 11,Dec,11 18:14

You guy are funny dudes. xD


By anonymous at 11,Dec,11 21:47

I was just commenting my point of view, then this "you wana go" dork, i mean PUSSY interfered with his hollow brain..! Hey PUSS PUSS WHERE YOU AT...?


By anonymous at 13,Dec,11 00:47

Hello there! I was sitting around in a self loathing, unemployed depression and that's how I found this website. I read your whole post, so if you think you're a loser, well I guess I am too!

Sounds like things are rough, I hope they are better for you now.

Is there a way you could switch your mother out for a roommate that could help contribute with expenses?

What about filing for bankruptcy? That would hurt the ol credit, but help clear your plate and take some of the desperation away.

And for the majority of the senseless assholes that posted comments before me - I am sorry. Sorry that there are people in this world that think it's ok to talk to each other like they are simply because it's anonymous, sorry for their ignorance.

Always remember that there are still some decent people around. Merry Christmas :)


By anonymous at 13,Dec,11 18:56

Yea..aha.. LOOKS WHO'S TALKING!! MR. ANONYMOUSE COMMENTER ALSO!!! Based on what YOU commented that also makes YOU IGNORANT!! Say it with me, IG-NO-RANT..cause that's what YOU ARE..!


By anonymous at 13,Dec,11 22:14

Well said, and whats wrong with commenting as ANONYMOUSE???? YOU commented as ANONYMOUSE so like the comment up there says,that makes YOU IGNORANT also!


By anonymous at 15,Dec,11 15:33

NEEEEEEEEEXT!!!!


By anonymous at 12,Jan,12 15:16

Sell your stuff and do a bankruptcy to get the creditors off your ass. Shop around-the rates vary greatly. Have ALL the money up front or the attorneys will add late charges.


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By check out these guys! at 16,Oct,13 03:09

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