LIFE SUCKS

It really sucks...

When I was younger my mom was physically and mentally abusive. My father was an alcoholic and abusive to my mother. I was malested from the age of five to ten by uncles and a girl neighbor. When I told my mom about it she sent me over there anyway. My mom cheated on my father with his brother, but he was cheating on her with anything that walked at the bar. I left home at sixteen. Moved in with my then boyfriend a year later I was pregnant. He wouldn't listen to the baby or talk with me about the pregnancy. I knew this was trouble. After she was born he wouldn't help with anything. If I had to go to the gas station a block away I had to take her with me. He quit his job and his mom payed our bills. I left him. I was unhappy. I no longer respected him. After several failed relationships due to drinking physical and mental abuse, I met a man that wanted to take care of me. I agreed to see where the road took me. It took me strait to hell. He threatens me, compulsively calls and texts me (sometimes over 100 in a day). He pays for my cell phone so he thinks he has a right. He gets mad if I have any plans with my daughter, he tries to break up any friendship that I may have, he goes through the phone bill and calls people and accuses me of doing things behind his back all the time. The truth of the matter is he is my SD. I hate it. He is ugly and fat and I can not look at him when we are together because I try and escape my reality. He promised me a million dollars when he passes away. That is the only reason I stay. I want to make sure my daughter has what she needs. If I didn't have a child to support then I wouldn't stick around. I am in school and I have an unruly teen that I have to watch constently. I already have one degree that ended up being a dead end. I am trying for another and I am hoping life will turn around. I am thirty and still unhappy. I have great credit but can't get a house because my income is from the SD. My co-signer fell trough and my rent is about to go up and I am pretty sure the SD thing won't last much longer. I am so tired.