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life sucks

Posted by nate at October 15, 2011
Tags: Attitude  Health  Life Story  2011 October

when I was born I got nerve damage on the left side of my face and I grew up with a crooked smile . One time I was trying to make friends with someone and they looked at me and asked my why only 1 side of my face moved then walked away. I moved a lot and had to be forced to go to church every sunday of my life. By the way I went to Kenya Africa with my parents when I was 2. So every sunday of my life I was forced to listen to a sermon I didnt want to hear and it was in swahili. Oh and they lasted about 4 hours. Plus the 1 hour ride home. I never had a girlfriend. I spent 20 years in Kenya Africa and the rest moving around the U.S. In school I would just walk by and people would laugh at me. Now Im 32 and living in the U.S. I have very few friends. Every girl Im around seems to hate me because Im different. Im allways the "neat kid who spent his life in Africa with the lions". Isnt that exciting. I bet the lions even laughed at me. Well I tried having friends on facebook but one girl said i was ugly and had no friends. I at least have a playstation 2 and some good games and a drum kit. That is fun. Even by myself. I allways feel like Im not liked or don't belong. I do some carpentry work but not enough to make a living off it so Im 31 and I live with my parents. I never had a girlfriend. Ive tried to kill myself many times, only to end up in a mental hospital with a bunch of strange people for a few weeks. At least they talked to me. I feel like Im living a nightmare and if I wake up Ill probably find out Im actually dead. I feel like Im dead. I have nothing to live for. No future. I recently found out my great grandfather was part of a masonic cult who did who knows what. I just quit my facebook account and am hoping my life will end really soon. But the only reason I dont kill myself is because it would hurt my family and I would probably end up in hell. Oh well Im allready in hell. Just add flames and no water. I dont even know why im writing this. No one will care or read it anyway. If anyone could tell me a quick way to die I wouldnt mind it. Im thinking about a good hanging or something. Well thats the end of that.


Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 30,Nov,11 13:51

Dude. You are to hard on yourself. God loves you and has his hand on you. Let Him in and you can know true love. And BTW, I took the time to write this because I care even though I don't even know you. And just because your life sucks doesn't mean it has to. Everyone in the world is depressed except for a handful of people that know true happiness through Jesus. You aren't alone.
By anonymous at 30,Nov,11 16:51

You're so dumb.Do you really think that god won't give him more then he can bear? I see people that got more than they can handle each day.People crying in a mental hospitals,teens who commit suicide.They got more than they can handle.


By Thomas at 30,Nov,11 16:03

Your kidding right? Even after this story you speak of god. It's obvious that there is no god. You will find a girl and probably the best one. That one that will accept you the way you are and she will be dedicated to you. Don't suicide it's not worth just live your life the way it is. Drink alcohol and forget about your problems. Just and advice!


By at 30,Nov,11 17:14

dont give up. suicide will get you no where. who cares if your face is messed up on one side,people should love you for who you are not who they want you to be. dont listen to that thomas kid. God is real. He is how we survive in life. let Him in, he will guide you to a life full of happiness and peace. if you wouldnt be so insecure about yourself, you would find the PERFECT girl, that love YOU for who you TRULY are. please do not commit suicide. that will get you no where but to Hell. please trust me. im only 13 years old, but i completely care about you even though ive never met you in my life. you deserve to have a happy, wonderful, and joyful life. let God into your heart, and you will have one. trust me.


By anonymous at 30,Nov,11 19:11

I care. I dont know you, and I care. People do care.


By anonymous at 30,Nov,11 21:25

To die quickly and painless use "carbon monoxide". it's like going to sleep.


By anonymous at 30,Nov,11 22:42

Listen. I know that life sucks, and yeah, I may only be 16, but I've gone through a lot. What you need to do:

Forget the past. Forget everything that happened to you before.

Next, realize that you have a loving family, one that cares for you. Also realize that you don't live in poverty (because you own a PS2 and a drum kit and etc.). Then you have to get a makeover. Get a nice haircut or something (DONT GET HIGHLIGHTS! PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU ARE GAY AND GIRLS WONT GO FOR YOU!)

Now you have to improve your social awkwardness problem. Look up some good jokes, ones that you can tell anyone. Then, know that you can't tell anyone your depressing life story. Don't look at suicide as an option. Look at depression as a reason to improve yourself, let it push you to try harder.

Now, you have to list out the things you like to do. Do you like sports? Do you have a common hobby? Photography? Music? Join something. A club, an activity with other people. Socialize.

And if you like music, first improve, then try to join a band.

Go to a club/bar. Meet some girls, pick up tricks to pick them up. Be the smooth mysterious, yet sweet guy all girls like.

Listen to me. Your life is long, and only YOU can change what you do with it. Act now. Try new things. And if something/someone hurts you, get away. You have the potential to do many great things. Go for it.


By anonymous at 30,Nov,11 23:31

I care


By anonymous at 01,Dec,11 00:11

i care about everything you said but commiting suicide is just foolish... be confident and just ignore the world that opposes you... look for the good things in life... just because you were born with a deformity dosent mean that your ugly... i care even though i do not know you but i care as much as my own life


By Thomas at 01,Dec,11 03:25

Yeah right. god is real that's why you have such a life. Grow up taylor. You should really see the bright side of your life, I'm sure it is one.


By anonymous at 01,Dec,11 08:08

Seek God and you can get through anything.


By anonymous at 01,Dec,11 10:18

First of all i dont know if you've heard girls fall in love with their ears not with they're eyes! Second of all you shouldn't give TWO FUCKS about what people say or think about you! Live your life! Appreciate that you have a family that cares for you, appreciate that you are even alive. Seriously you have no idea how many other people have much more serious problems. Stop caring about what others think about you, I promise you that the moment you do that you will be so much happier with your life and you'll be able to see a clearer much brighter picture. We all have low self esteem sometimes even people who we think are perfect, so get over it and live your life.


By anonymous at 02,Dec,11 02:13

I know exactly how you feel being forced by your parents to go to church or go places you don't necessarily want to go to. It sucks really, I feel me and you have alot in common and i would like us to be friends. you should email me sometime: iPenpal@yahoo.com Bro as much as i thought about suicide myself it is something i NEVER recommend remember people hate you now but after you suicide they will hate you more, it changes nothing.


By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 09:25

someone cares...i read the whole thing, sorry you had to go through that...its alright


By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 01:13

Did you really read the whole thing? Not me,i don't even read the looooong comments like the one up^ there.


By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 17:41

FIRSTLY SORRY FOR THE MASSIVE BLOCK OF TEXT, IF YOUR UNHAPPY READ THIS.

I'm not sure why everyone talks about God. If I were you mate I would forget God for now. People rely on God, Jesus etc. Way too much when really there is no point relying on something backed up by absolutely no evidence. Look at your life and do something about it. I recommend going to the gym, working out try talking to people. If your not confident that could be why your having an issue getting a job. Start job hunting all over the place I promise you, that you'll find one.

Make sure you seek your parents support and find a dream and follow it. I am 19 years old, i am doing a hairdressing apprenticeship i am going to join a gym and I am really happy. Sometimes I feel a little down since I am leaving a phase of my life where i have been very lonely. For some reason I know that within a year, if that I will be the happiest i've ever been.

If you kill your self you are not sure where you are going to go. If there is no afterlife then you will phase out of existence and very little people will remember you. People kill themselves because they cannot deal with their lives and want relief. However you will not feel this relief as you will be dead.

Do not give up, I read what you say and I feel like the people who made you live in Africa are partly responsible for your bad start, but do not give up find things to do, fill your life with productivity and you'll find your place.

I read a lot of these comments, and I see how dumb some people are, relying on religion to be happy. You need to create your own happiness, and you will do so by following my advice.

Once your comfortable with your life, confident and (I hope) happy. Find a girl friend, or boy friend depending on what you prefer (if you want one, some people prefer to be single) and try out a relationship.

Suicide is for the weak. You've come here for help I can see that, and the fact you've attempted to commit suicide (but not succeeded) tells me your crying for help. I wish I could help you more but this comment will have to suffice.

If I knew you in real life I would probably be friends with you. You've got a interesting background and I am sure we'd get along.

This is coming from a 19 year old who lacks perhaps some life experiences, but in my short life I've encountered a lot of hardships and recovered from bad things and I am really still recovering. But I love life, and you should to.

Good luck.


By anonymous at 09,Dec,11 21:52

FUCK THAT! I aint reading your longer then a fucking dick post ..!


By anonymous at 09,Dec,11 21:55

And aint reading the longer than at fucking dick COMMENT also!!!


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