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Every dog has his day is the saying.Being 'small and scared' and conscientious ,made you an easy target , as has happened to a really LOT of people .The difference is once you are grown up, you deal with grown ups who dont usually bully people.May be you have not thought about it , but are you 'assertive in your behavior'? 'Assertive',which is very different from 'agressive', is a quality mature grownups have.Others are just 'thugs',a small minority.Please research on internet all you can find about 'assertive behaviour'.Its obvious that people you now deal with is not good examples of it.People of protestant churches(baptist, brethren etc)(avoid charismatic) are usually kind people.And so are voluntary service people.It will be good if you can find appropriate people to deal with.Observe the way they show sadness/happiness, and how other people accept their emotions/respond to it.Try to mimic the most appropriate behavior ,nobody will know ,by and by with repeated practice it will be yours.By and by you will get opportunities to return to other people the blessings you recieve..
Remember , 99% of people are like us, just ordinary, but we are all happy with it,as it means'peace of mind'.What people should remember you is as a person who 'took care of his peace and happiness',thats the greatest thing you can do.It means, I say again,learning 'Assertive Behavior'.
Please check whether you have depression now.Latest medicines are very good and non addictive.It will turn your life around totally.Regards
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