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tired and lonely

Posted by anonymous at October 16, 2011
Tags: Anxiety  Loneliness  2011 October

For four years i have been alone. My family is great and our financial situation is ok. I know i shouldn't complain in those regards but i still feel alone. I haven't had a friend who liked me for who i really am in years. Every weekend im alone entertaining myself however i can. Im the kid nobody remembers. Ive come to terms with that but i wish i could be someone different. I live in a small town where everybody knows everything about everybody so reaching out is next to impossible. People used to call me awful names and make fun of me every day for years. I just took it because i was small and scared. Since freshman year ive battled depression praying something would change but nothing has. Im not a mean person and i dont hurt anybody else yet everybody seems to take shots at me. I have no idea how to change and college is coming up and im scared to death that the next four years and even the rest of my life will be exactly the same. What really bothers me is the idea that when i die i will have absolutely nothing to be remembered by. Some kids are smart, some athletic, some attractive, and i am none of these. I cant stop thinking that i will be stuck in this situation for the rest of my life.


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Similar Entries:
untitled story September 16, 2011
I am so lonely it hurts April 22, 2012
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I'm tired of my life April 18, 2012
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Comments:
By anonymous at 03,Dec,11 23:10

i'm really nobody myself, but let me try change your prespective of yourself. it's great you have a good family. not many people out there have good families. alot of people sound pretty miserable there if they have to pick on you. i see that alot today. everyone acts meaner and sarcastic to each other these days. it makes them feel more powerful to hurt you. superficial people tend to be the meaner and there are more and more these days. you are a nice person which is why it hurts. i think your family did a great job raising you. expect people to be more grown in college (a few won't be). good luck!


By anonymous at 06,Dec,11 14:32

college will be your time! Trust me


By anonymous at 13,Dec,11 16:14

i feel the same


By anonymous at 21,Jan,12 04:34

my dear,first realize that u are very young now,and that you have many years to reverse ALL that has happened to you.
Every dog has his day is the saying.Being 'small and scared' and conscientious ,made you an easy target , as has happened to a really LOT of people .The difference is once you are grown up, you deal with grown ups who dont usually bully people.May be you have not thought about it , but are you 'assertive in your behavior'? 'Assertive',which is very different from 'agressive', is a quality mature grownups have.Others are just 'thugs',a small minority.Please research on internet all you can find about 'assertive behaviour'.Its obvious that people you now deal with is not good examples of it.People of protestant churches(baptist, brethren etc)(avoid charismatic) are usually kind people.And so are voluntary service people.It will be good if you can find appropriate people to deal with.Observe the way they show sadness/happiness, and how other people accept their emotions/respond to it.Try to mimic the most appropriate behavior ,nobody will know ,by and by with repeated practice it will be yours.By and by you will get opportunities to return to other people the blessings you recieve..
Remember , 99% of people are like us, just ordinary, but we are all happy with it,as it means'peace of mind'.What people should remember you is as a person who 'took care of his peace and happiness',thats the greatest thing you can do.It means, I say again,learning 'Assertive Behavior'.

Please check whether you have depression now.Latest medicines are very good and non addictive.It will turn your life around totally.Regards


By cheap link building at 24,Sep,13 08:59

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