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Posted by Kayla at October 16, 2011
Tags: Loneliness  2011 October

I am lonely. At night, it hurts the most. I just want someone to talk to. My husband is in the military, so he is far away and always busy. My parents have never really been outwardly affectionate. They don't even say I love you when they hang up with me on the phone and don't really call much. When they do, it's just because they have something to tell me. All my girlfriends are always too busy with their lives. I just wish this life wasn't so lonely. I cry alone in my bed almost every night & often have suicidal thoughts. I don't want to tell anyone, I don't want to worry my family or husband. They love me so much, it would break their hearts. These feelings are too heavy to keep inside. It's such a weight lifted off my shoulders just typing this, I don't even care if no one reads it.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 02,Dec,11 07:35

Kayla,

When does your husband come home? Aren't there other wives who are waiting you could spend time with. My heart aches for you. I know things seem bad but I promise you they will eventually change. You need to go to a church or join some type of group. Also, you need to talk to your mom or dad and tell them how you are feeling. Please make some changes in your life to turn things around. I know it is hard but you can do it.


By anonymous at 02,Dec,11 14:22

Hi dear,

This is really painful to read.It just pinches directly into the heart.
I think is this situation busy urself with some of ur hobbies let's say photography,dancing singing...join classes.
This will make u enjoy ur hobbies and yourself and keeps away all negative thoughts away from ur beautiful ind :)


By anonymous at 03,Dec,11 17:09

Start reaching out to others and create a support system for yourself. And also start looking at your own company as great company. You don't need others around to have a good time. Also, some people who have no business being parents have children. It's like they were robots just going along with the status quo without asking if they would be good at parenting or asking if they are up for a lifetime of mentoring and support. If you do not have a rigorous routine for yourself create one today--it will keep you preoccupied and busy and will get you through this tough time.


By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 02:40

i agree, my family loves me so much that i cant bear to tell them how things suck. and to be honest im not even sure if thats the reason i cant tell them i think im just agreeing cuz for once i would figure something out. i dont really have any sort of heart or sense of right or wrong si o never care to help people or never have a real desire to do good at something. i always just want something anything to keep me company. the thoughts in my head make me worry yet i dont care. but writing a story on here helps me out so much whether its read by the lord himself or whether its not even posted. but somethings gotta change


By at 05,Dec,11 23:45

Hiya, I was a military brat, whos father was goen 9/12 of the yr. Later I joined the army myself. B4 my deployment I spent 3 months with out the love of my life as he shipped out ahead of me, I got there, got hurt & then was seperated from him again. Believe me i know that very loneliness you are speaking of.. The one that you fear to tell others as you appear soo selfish when the one you love is in harms way. But you do count & you must take a stance. Yes there are support groups & resources the military offer, but i can understand how they are unappealing, especially in the military world where "its liek a biig small town & your actions reflect that of your sponsor...yada yada. If you are not up for a support group, & you feel its premature to tell your parents, perhaps consider either starting a soriety Or joining a local one. They are not just colleged based. It worked well for my mama & other wives & mixed in civillians, so seemed more natural & noraml. Was therapeutic as they called eachother with ideas to raise monies for charities or to celerate special days with one another. even spouses with their sponsor close by join. It really is making true friends. sry vertigo & brain injury make me a lil sloppy still. I will warn you, if you sit & do nothing or only talk in "pixels" you are setting yourself & your marriage up for failure. You guys dont need eachother sad & he will be aable to tell if u are.. Also is concern of the ever present "Jodies"... Being the ONLY female in my unit, the guys forgot Im a girl & yah ALOT of them prey on lonely married wives... to them you are a sure thing, as they know you are used to interacting with a partner on a regular basis, sleeping next to someone, taking in a movie... You owe it to yourself not to "avoid" youself into a spot soo vulnerabel regrets occur.... If you cant take some free classes of pottery or something, please find a place where there are boundries in place that wont exploit your vulnerability... many hugz i sign off ~vertigo gypsy
By vertigo gypsy at 05,Dec,11 23:51

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_social_fraternities_and_sororities
there are many different types. Is really nice have slumber parites for baking or watching movies they are there good times & bad.


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