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Really Lonely Tonight

Posted by lonely at October 21, 2011
Tags: Loneliness  2011 October

I really dont understand why I am still here on earth. Im a fat black bald headed female who has begged God over and over to send me someone to love me for who I am but nothing. Those God really exist in the way we think. Maybe He doesnt really provide for us. Im just so tired of being the friend who never has a man. And when I do find a guy he is usually a piece of crap. I must be the worst person on earth. Maybe I dont deserve to be in love with anyone. Maybe Ive done too much wrong. I dont know all I know is Im tired of crying for love. I would kill myself but I dont want my daughter to grow up without a mother. Why am I here? What is my real purpose for breathing. When is this life thing gonna be over? The only problem with dying is I dont want to leave this hell on earth to go to another hell. This is a lose lose situation. So freaking frustrated and sad. Did I mention depressed.


New Comment

By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 17:13

You should try to date an Asian man. They and black women are the two most lonely types of people. You see the black man takes white women and the white man takes asian women.

By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 20:37

life is worthless shit and it will never get better.

By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 21:42

:0~~)(~ lick my butt..

By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 23:20

i am sure you are the most important thing in your daughters life. I am sure she thinks of you as the most beautiful woman in her life. I find that my best relationships have come when I wasn't thinking about how I want/need to be in a relationship. Focus on you before you focus on wanting a relationship. Making yourself happy, by enjoying the good things about yourself will make you more approachable by others. If they see you have confidence and love yourself, they will want to love you. I hope you feel better. Seriously, I know I am stranger but your words have moved me enough to reply to your post, and I think that says something about how you are not worthless.

By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 00:19

Life sucks for all of us one way or another.hang in there for your daughter because she's always gona need you.

By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 02:49

My love, do you really need a man, or do you just want to use your lack of one as the reason for your sorrow? The love of a mother for her child is greater than the connection between any woman and man. Turn to your daughter. She will love you more than any man ever will. You love her more than any man you will ever meet, if you would admit that to yourself. So is the human condition to blame our sorrow on what we don't have. Don't fall for that.

By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 19:47

I'm pretty sure all men take any women. But sex is overrated and the opposite sex usually seems completely retarded even if they are soft and warm. How about video games, a dog, movies, pot, drawing cookies, candy (fuzzy peaches, watermelon shaped, slurpees, butter peacan icedcream) those are all pretty readily available and most people would be worth exchanging for a package like that anyhow. Also, I regard suicide as one of the rights of humanity. I don't believe in god or hell and so forth, so I weight not existing against my life when I think about suicide, and by that logic if life is in any way, or at all could yield, something interesting or good, it is worth preserving because we're all guaranteed to die fairly soon anyhow. Whats another 70 years against eternity? It's too small a fraction to think about.

By at 06,Dec,11 00:14

You have alot on your plate it seems.
There is a joke about God & this very thing
A great flood happens & a God loving man is desperately praying for help as the water rises he fnds himself kneeling on his rooftop...
A neighbor passes & yells out to him "jump in my boat I will row you to safety"
the man on the roof say no need I am praying to God.
Another two bneighbors row by with the same offer again he told them he was praying to God.
He Drowned.
In Heaven he asks "GOd i prayed n prayed yet you didnt save me"
God said "I sent you 3 boats".
That said we need to find you a boat my pretty sister.
If you are already in therapy super, if not try to find someone to talk with.
With or without therapy we need to get you out of the house & AWAY from the flood of bad matches.
One way is to join a local Soriety.(there are many non college sorieties across the nation) If there sint one in your area that you like, then you can make it a project & create one.
1. You make new friends from different circles.
2. You end up getting involved in the community (mother daughter teas, charities, or just plain hanging out with some of the soriety members)
3.When working with charities you meet men that may have completely different priorites then those you have limited your exposure to. Therefor you grow stronger & learn new things about yourself.
You dont lose any "old friends this way" simply broaden your network & expand your mind. There are many options out there.
You got so used worrying about what is seen in the mirror as opposed to applying some make up & beauty to your strong spirit. You may not be able to move residence, but you can meet new positive healthy people. free pottery/dance writing classes at campus'... many different choices. Your job is to get yourself out there away from pixel land & your comfortable 4 mile home radius.. bebe steps. Is a HUGE world & there are many viable options in men for you. Once you know who you are & what you like the rest seems to just fall into place

By at 06,Dec,11 00:15

a palce to start exploring some different sorieties & fraternities.

By anonymous at 06,Dec,11 02:38


By anonymous at 06,Dec,11 10:18


By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 00:25

Do you know how lucky you are to have a child? You focus too much on finding a man. You say you are "fat" - well why not do something about this? Why not focus on feeling happy about your appearance, forget about finding a man and what you don't have. Think of the things you do have, such as your daughter and focus on the things you can change, such as your health/appearance.

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