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Posted by anonymous at October 22, 2011
Tags: Loneliness  2011 October  Unemployment

I am really thinking about hanging myself. I am 30, unemployed and unable to support myself. I had to move back in with my Mum and sleep on a fold out sofa in a spare room. Its so humiliating. I was a marine but I was discharged because of injuries I got in my knees from training, I never deployed. I had got a job on this farm, but the owner was insane, he beat the animals and never paid me. I lived in the middle of nowhere nad spend all my time on my own, my only friend was this sheepdog I found there. When I left I brought her with me, but I cant look after her and dont know what to do.

All my old school friends are married, with jobs and lives but I literally have nothing. Seeing them makes me feel so shit. All my relationships brake down, my girlfriend left me for her boss. I loved her so much and was really angry, I said I would kill him if I saw him and called her some terrible names. I dont know what that makes me, she wont speak to me now. I keep having people shout at me and get nasty because they misunderstand things I say or do, I just cant seem to communicate. All my relationships have broken down, i just sit inside all day, so angry.

I know there are people in the world with even less than me, I just feel so alone in my life and unhappiness and cant see anyway out of it. Id be embarrased to hang myself, but because i feel like my life is of no benefit to anyone I feel so negative. Ive never felt like this before, just so scared its only gonna get worse and feel really really lonely


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By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 12:42

I know were your coming from i to messed up my relationships i to am so alone people give me rotten looks i know i am not liked i to feel angry all the time but i think that is whats messing us up i know i crack up from time to time or nervus breakdown ,mental breakdown what ever it all boils down to some kind of personality disorder.Just remember you are not alonbe in this i went to church today i even messed that up really it just showed me how messed up i really am so self consous and panicky i practacly run out of the church but one guy took me aside and said i will be ok and to come back.I have got to make an effort and go back as i havent nothing left even my son who i love so much doesnt come in the room just goes straight up stairs i know i got issues and also waiting to see a forensic pyciatrist i just hope i can work things out as my next step is suicide but first i asking for help i even know how i would end it but first give life a big fight then if things dont work out do it.


By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 13:13

It's remarkable how many former soldiers there are who have been discharged due to knee injuries. I've met a few ex-soldiers in the same position as you, here in Canada.

Please download and read the books I've linked to below. If you incorporate their wisdom into your life, you'll have all the happiness possible in this wretched world. Also keep in mind that it's impossible to think clearly without meditating for atleast 30 mins every day.

"Let me speak plainly. However close the bond of friendship, love,
marriage--a man, ultimately, looks to himself, to his own welfare
alone; at most, to his child's too. The less necessity there is for
you to come into contact with mankind in general, in the relations
whether of business or of personal intimacy, the better off you are.
Loneliness and solitude have their evils, it is true; but if you
cannot feel them all at once, you can at least see where they lie; on
the other hand, society is _insidious_ in this respect; as in offering
you what appears to be the pastime of pleasing social intercourse, it
works great and often irreparable mischief. The young should early be
trained to bear being left alone; for it is a source of happiness and
peace of mind."
-Schopenhauer

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/10715

http://www.archive.org/details/philokalia


By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 19:54

Hanging sounds uncomfortable. Why not see if there's a better way at least? No need to suffer right until the end.
By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 23:29

YOU ARE MEAN!!!!!!


By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 21:21

No! Don't hang yourself! Instead take some sleeping pills.that will give you a peacefull death
By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 23:31

YOU ARE A ASS WIPE, THIS MAN DOES NOT NEED TO TAKE PILLS, NOR KILL HIMSELF. WE ALL GO THROUGH STUFF, BUT IT WILL GET BETTER!


By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 22:49

well dont sound like you wont to die sound likes you wont help reach out and it will come,dont think about you your dead think about the boy who will miss that dead person


By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 23:42

Dude, you don't need to kill yourself over a girl. I know where you're coming from because something similar happened to me, and I was in the same position you were. It gets better though, man. That I promise, don't get me wrong either thers isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about her, but you just have to move on. Find someone to talk to, someone you can trust, talking about how you feel to someone will make you feel so much better. Try going out, meeting new people! 30 is still young and I'm sure you're a great dude, you just fell for the wrong chick.


By anonymous at 04,Dec,11 23:56

:0~~)(~~ go to sleep butt licker.. Lick..lick..lick.. :0~)(~


By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 02:39

My love, go out and see the world. If things are that desperate, join the Peace Corps, work on a ship that sails the world, hitchhike across the continent, throw yourself to the mercy of fate and at the very least be a man about your fate. If you're going to go down, do it in style.
If people shout at you, fuck them. They are the assholes, NOT YOU. If you are a good, kind person, then know YOU are not the one who is fucked up. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Maybe THEY are the ones with communication problems, ever think about that? Toughen up, my love. Be strong. Fight. Fight and fight. It's better to be on the side of good, even if you fail in the end. But there is someone, somewhere, or at least many animals, who need you. Don't puss out.


By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 15:54

If your the same fuckup like me. you hanging yourself would probably fail too. rope breaks etc..


By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 23:00

All you peanut brains are giving this person the wrong advice!!! You heart less jerks!!
By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 23:40

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE?
By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 23:50

I would advice this person to seek help,instead of telling him to take his life!!!!
By anonymous at 06,Dec,11 00:02

I AGREE!


By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 23:38

I'M NIKKI. I WISH THERE WAS AWAY TO GIVE YOU MY NUMBER WITHOUT PUTTING IT ON A OPEN FORUM AND WE COULD TALK, SOMETIMES THAT REALLY HELPS. WE ALL GO THROUGH CRAP,BUT IT DOES GET BETTER SWEETHEART, I PROMISE :)
By anonymous at 03,Dec,12 06:17

NIKKi you think you could give me some advice too


By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 23:52

JEEEEERKS!!!!!!!!!


By anonymous at 06,Dec,11 09:58

: 0~~~~


By anonymous at 06,Dec,11 10:10

I know this will sound dumb but try to think about just today. Be gentle with yourself about your mistakes and think of all you have accomplished. Making it into the Marines is quite something, I know it's not easy and I couldn't do that if I tried! I agree that bad circumstances have come your way, no doubt, and I fear Iam sounding simplistic.
There are times when I too feel like it would make life easier to just do away with myself. I then think, would it be easier, for whom? I have three kids, would that really be easier for them? Certainly not.
You need to focus on the positive aspects about yourself, you are a hard worker and need to find something that is meaningful for you. Maybe you could volunteer somewhere? Seeing other people needing and helping others sometimes takes the focus off ourselves. It also shows that you DO have a lot to offer and helps us see how things aren't as bad as we sometimes think. Maybe even visiting other soldiers might help. Try, please don't give up.
Negativity...I have been there, try and focus on the positive please.


By anonymous at 06,Dec,11 11:25

just end it nobody cares.......


By anonymous at 06,Dec,11 22:53

Don't listen to this cold hearted grinch up ^there!


By anonymous at 22,Dec,11 18:49

that sucks man, good luck dude


By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 23:10

oh!! its really suck man..

dont lose hope...

god is always beside you and guide you of wat u have doin...


By anonymous at 02,Jun,13 20:30

I feel the same way as the first post


By anonymous at 02,Jun,13 20:37

I want to hang myself and end it all - I feel lonely and worthless I'm 30 years old and unemployed I have no ambition to try no more I look for jobs and am qualified and can't catch a break - I'm tired of life I have 2 dogs and I love them that's the only thing stopping me _ I have a girlfriend that just don't understand how much pain I'm in mentally and everyday it's something else - I used opiates for 6 years then went into a program I cleaned up for 165 days then relapsed I was doing so good and now I'm back in the same spot - my family loves and cares about me I feel I am a big disappointment and I just want to end it all !!


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