LIFE SUCKS

My life is a train wreck

A train wreck is the best way to sum up my life. I am a single mother of two ADHD boys they are 11 and 15. Their father is non-exestant. My parents are no longer living and I live in a state with no family at all. My oldest son has decided that he would like to smoke and sell weed and ditch school all the time. My youngest has been expelled from the school bus so now I have to go to work a 5am and work for two hours, come home take him to school, go back to work and leave in time to pick him up. I have now been evicted from my apartment because my kids are constantly causing trouble at our complex. I've gone to every counsoler every ADHD doctor, the police EVERYONE for help and I've been brushed off or fallen through the cracks at every turn. I'm exhuasted and so depressed I just don't care about anything any more. My husband left me several years ago....recently I found happiness again and my children have made sure that it won't last...he has also left because my kids are just too much! I love my children because they are all I have but honestly I think that they and the rest of the world would be better off with out me! I fail at everything and I just don't know how to change! I think I'm too lazy to change.