Well, to start out. I have virtually failed everything that attempted in my adult life. Weirdly enough... it might not seem that way at first glance. I have a Masters degree, a well paying job, and a fiance. However, everything that I have "earned" has basically been spoon-fed to me. It all started in elementary school, when I was too stupid to do math, my parents and teachers put me in SLD classes. Then, I was sexually molested by a kid that was in my class, I used be "babysat" by his mother after school. My parents were divorced like everyone else my age, and my mom, stepdad, and my dad (when I saw him) used to beat my ass on a regular basis. Am I using any of this as an excuse? No way, I am actually just inherently lazy. I hate putting forth any sort of effort. I was a bully in middle and high school, probably because I really just hated myself. Anyway, I ended up joining the Marines out of highschool; I guess to prove to my dad that I wasn't such a pussy. That turned out great!! I hated it so much... because I'm a pussy, that I actually faked a seizure the 2nd week of boot camp to get out. Now the story gets really great! I have been lying to people for the past 8 years, telling them that I was a Marine... that I even got sent to war. I'm not sure if anyone actually buys this BS, but some certainly do. I think it's even gotten me laid a few times. Onward to college! I attended community college for a few years, because I scored a 800 on my SAT and had about a 2.6 in High School. I started dating this girl, while I was there that had a kidney problem, with some great pain pills. I know this, because I used to steal them. Used to kick her dog for fun too. The best part was, my grandparents were rich, and they felt sorry for me, so I didn't have to work at all. I let them support my sorry ass for 6 years. Undergrad, through graduate school. I partied and did drugs while making mediocre grades on their dime. Me and the kidney girl broke up, and I started dating another girl. We got engaged about 8 months ago, she is also a victim of my Marine lie. Little does she know, I got piss drunk at a company function, and had unprotected sex with some fat black girl. Now, I hate my job, I hate my life, and I hate who I am, and I hate being alive... but this is how I have always been. Now, I'm sure some of you will say, "who cares, or what a dick" but the truth is... that's all true. I am a true coward. What can I say. I would blow my own brains out in a heartbeat but I just don't have the sack to go through with it. Too bad, the world would be a better place. | |
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