I am currently 20 years old, freshman at a terrible community college because my family can't afford a real school. I live with my parents who try, but have managed their entire life poorly. I used to play sports in highschool, i used to have friends, had a beautiful girlfriend for a long time whom I was sure i was going to marry. Ever since highschool my entire life has went to the opposite direction, i worked a couple of worthless jobs making little to no money, i felt no purpose so I decided to go back to school. I am currently sitting here in my parents house alone, I dont know one "friend' i could call right now and say "help" and they would. Yesterday was my birthday, i didn't get anything, but i ended up blowing 50 dollars on a girl who is using me for when she's mad at her boyfriend(s). My parents are too busy to care, my friends dont care, and I have no one. I've tried talking to a couple of girls, but none are interested. My mind tells me I'm ok, but my insides just hurt at the thought of being as lonely as i am. I need serious help, but I'm afraid to ask for it. I'm fighting an emotional battle with my self everyday not to think about suicide. I live in the middle of nowhere, and I know I will be worthless for the rest of my life and theres nothing i can do about it. | |
Things get better, so don't be done on yourself. Work hard, and life can take you pretty much anywhere. I know words do very little, but trust me that things get better.
“A single gentle rain makes the grass many shades greener. So our prospects brighten on the influx of better thoughts. We should be blessed if we lived in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us, like the grass which confesses the influence of the slightest dew that falls on it; and did not spend our time in atoning for the neglect of past opportunities, which we call doing our duty. We loiter in winter while it is already spring.”
-Henry david Thoreau
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