I've suffered from bipolar disorder ever since I was a small child. My parents sent me to many different doctors, clinics, and boarding schools to try to straighten out my emotional issues, which was very traumatizing. I've always felt like nobody understands me, and I don't understand them. Still, I hate being alone, so I've always tried to make friends, but it never really works out. High School was the time I had the most self-confidence and motivation to make things better, because it was the first time I was allowed any freedom to choose how I wanted to live. I was in many relationships with many girls then. I felt like I took them for granted, because I wasn't used to somebody caring about me. I was also in great physical shape back then and would exercise every day. Now I've been single for almost two years, after a relationship that left me emotionally crippled, and I really let my physical health go since I just didn't care anymore. Whenever I ask for somebody's help, the usual reply is some form of "Cheer up. Everything will be alright!" and yet nothing has gotten better. If anything, it's only getting worse. I think they only say that because they themselves don't know the answer to that question. I've more or less come to terms with the fact that life isn't all flowers and sunshine, and some people go through hell while others are living out their dreams. If that's the case though, I wish everyone would stop pretending that everything is just fine while people are suffering constantly.