I honestly dont know where to begin, should I start by talking about how I've had "everything I wanted" or how "I've lost everything so much I couldnt care less anymore" nah I thInk I'll juss ramble on and on trying to vent to completely random people since I only have one friend and he juss so happens to be the biggest douche I kno(but I have horrible separation issues so I say fuck it I might as well put up with it rather than be all alone) so needless to say I dont talk to him, since I have to keep up with his facade(of being a tough asshole) so here I am spilling my guts to people I'll most likely never meet. I've been engaged before, she walked out on me one month before the wedding. That was two years ago and I still haven't been able to be with, much less trust another woman since her. It was over a year before we spoke again, and by then she had already been with other men(she's currently living with her boyfriend) and it kills me to think that, that used to be me. Everynow and then she calls me late at night when she's drunk(her boyfriend works nights) and since she knows I still love her I have to sit on the fone and talk to her even if it's not wLhat I want to hear or talk about, we've exchanged pictures and had some fun on the phone before(I swear she gets off on making me miserable) a couple months ago we even made plans to "hang out"( we made these "plans" while she was drunk so obviously nothing happened) i told her that the only reason we made those plans was because she was drunk and that it was a huge mistake( I immediately regretted saying that) but it was the truth and it had to be said. I havent heard from her since, a couple of weeks ago I tried calling her only to find out she changed her number( which is still killing me inside) I don't kno what happened or why she did that. I'll most likely never get an answer from her( shes never given me a straight answer on why she walked out on our engagement) thats juss the most recent in a long miserable events in my pathetic life. I'll most likely get shit on for this or get called names and by this point I couldnt care less, I'm juss here to vent and i wish I could say it helped. But at this time I can't say if it did or didn't.