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Posted by anonymous at October 31, 2011
Tags: Death  Family  Meaninglessness  2011 October  Tragic Events

My only son committed suicide Oct.31,1999 - My darling wife of 43 years did the same on May 10,2010. I have a daughter 42 that seems to blame me for their deaths and will have nothing to do with me.
My son had a wife and 5 children when he took his life after losing his job, his home, and his wife to divorce.
My wife fell, broke her back, and couldn't get the doctors to believe just how much pain she was suffering, and took her life when I was away buying groceries.
I am 69 years old, living all alone in a huge house with nothing but my darling wife's little chihuahua and my memories of when I was a family man.
They are wonderful memories and they are all that I have to live for now.
Each day is nothing but a consistant repitition of previous days,television, playing with the chihuahua,checking for mail that never comes,paying a phone bill for a phone that never rings,and talking to my departed wife as if she was still here with me. Life for me is a heavy weight around my shoulders that gets heavier with each passing day. I bought a .45 caliber handgun and keep it for the day that all this finally gets to me. If it is true that there is life after death, I long to be with my dear sweet wife again forever and always.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 08,Dec,11 18:29

I am truly sorry for the horrible events of having loving ones commit suicide. Please don't commit suicide yourself because, and I know that this is disturbing since you have loved one that did it, but suicides go to Hell according to Christianity. Please don't do it. You do not want to see them face to face in the Lake of Fire. Jesus still loves you.
By anonymous at 15,Dec,11 04:12

People who commit suicide do not go to hell!if they have salvation that is total,I'm not endorsing suicide but nowhere does it say if you take your own life you forfeit your salvation!.,get your fact straight before you post stuff like this!please.


By anonymous at 08,Dec,11 20:39

I just want to park my FOOT in your ASS and TEAR you a new ass hole!! You and your fake post!
By anonymous at 09,Dec,11 18:19

you have a problem
By anonymous at 21,Dec,11 13:15

agreed


By anonymous at 09,Dec,11 06:43

forget the latkes of fire. dont do anything final because you still have so much to do. Get of the couch and go help people who need it!!! you will feel much better. What you do WILL help others.


By anonymous at 09,Dec,11 16:23

this is bullshit, give me your big house and i;ll hang with u.
By anonymous at 09,Dec,11 21:48

Maybe suicide is an option
By CynusMom at 30,Jan,12 20:35

Sure, an option that will leave the surviving family...even estranged ones, along with friends, acquaintances-people you never even knew would be impacted, feel guilty, confused, heartbroken, sad, filled with impotent rage, and then guilty again. An answer that will have ripple effects that leave so many searching for answers for months and years-unable to properly grieve and more forward as a result. THIS is the legacy of suicide, believe me, I know first hand.


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 01:08

Maybe YOU ^should help him do that.. heart less GRINCH...
By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 10:55

Yea! I mean Me! Besides, why is the guy whining? he has the house and the dog. What about the (only) daughter! She lost Her Mom and Brother,and has a Dad that won´t talk to her.He´s 69 she is 42.He has it Bad. I have it Bad. She has BAD! MMMM!
just like the song! someone always has it worse!


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 19:41

Wtf! Fuck you all!


By anonymous at 11,Dec,11 07:30

wow, you guys are idiots, This post might be real or fate it does not matter. If you need somebody to talk to please email tactical_errror@live.com yes 3 r's in error. talk to your daughter if she cant understand you it her lost not your.


By anonymous at 11,Dec,11 23:45

pick up a new hobby or join a club. Good will/deeds aslways pay you back :) When I was better off we took custody of a young girl who'd had a very troubled past and were able to form a strong lasting relationship with her. Even though she ran away, she says now she just wasn't ready to grow up at that time and is very thankful for having us in her life. Smile, it has a way of making you happy.


By anonymous at 12,Dec,11 01:07

This is one of the saddest stories I've read on here :( Are you still in touch with your grandchildren? If not, could you try? I am sure that seeing them on a regular basis would cheer you up. Maybe you could also try to re-connect with your daughter. I can't imagine that anyone could so cold as to not care about their elderly parent.

And I think the suggestion of finding a hobby is a good one also.

Please hang in there.


By anonymous at 13,Dec,11 00:35

I am so sorry to hear such a story of heartbreaking tragedy..
Please hang in there, there is someone out there that can be healed by you, and may be mutually healing. If you can, get out of where you are and travel a bit, see the world, and be around others. I wish you peace and hopefully, some happiness again.


By anonymous at 15,Dec,11 09:57

Dear (Dad, Husband, and lost soul),
My son committed suicide September 18th, 2011. He was 16 years old. He was my heart, he was my reason for getting up in the morning, he was my entertainment and he was my life. His father died od ALS when he was 3 and he was my best friend. We had been through sooo much together and I truly thought that I knew everything about him...we talked ALL the time! I know as the Holidays approach I seem to get lower AAAAAAand lower...but I DO keep moving. My house is a mess because I don't stay home...my horses are getting to where they don't even bother to come to the fence because they know I am not coming to see them.
This is the first time I have made any kind of post about him and I did because of the malicious , painful things I read from other people's posts.
So it is the Holidays ...there are amny who have so little...volunteer your time somewhere...go wrap gifts for an organization to donate...serve Christmas dinner to the needy. Adopt an elderly person with no family to spend the Holiddays with you.
My point is...I have had to find reasons for my continued existence...a reason to get up in the morning...stay busy enough to go to bed tired at night. I've never been a couseling type person..I need someone who has been there to share my pain with..find a support group...DO SOMMETHING
I know this opens me up to horrible things being said to me like have been said to you but know that the choices you make each day set the tone for that day..God Bless and have a patient heart(from a Mom who lost too)


By anonymous at 17,Dec,11 15:08

You are ALL easily FOOLED by this FAKE post and ALL the other FAKE posts..and by the 1 COMMENTER that HAS posted ALL these POSTS on THIS SITE..YOU FOOLISH IDIOTS..!!!


By anonymous at 17,Dec,11 15:28

FOOLS!!,FOOLS!!,FOOLS!!!


By at 29,Dec,11 06:55

ujhlem


By CynusMom at 02,Jan,12 08:56

Get rid of the gun ASAP. If you don't you are running the risk of hurting and alienating your daughter and many others even more than they must be already due to the suicides that they have experienced already.

Moving and starting a brand new life is not a bad idea to consider. If you do that, join a class, move to a neighborhood that is known for being a friendly and active community, maybe with a warm, sunny climate, and join at least one activity, take walks and say "hi" to neighbors, etc. Go to the dog park with you chihuahua...these types of activities will help you to get into a better, more positive and forward moving place.


By anonymous at 03,Jan,12 20:07

I know how you feel. I have survived my husband of 27 years and there are times I feel all is lost. I have found that working and helping others is curing my pain. You are here for a purpose and need to find out why God has kept you here. Blow the dust off the Bible in your bookcase or buy one if you don't have one and start reading my friend. There is no better cure than to get on your knees and pray. You will be amazed how much peace it will bring you!


By anonymous at 10,Jan,12 22:28

:(


By anonymous at 10,Jan,12 22:30

get a hobby...golf maby or teach little leage..or rc airplane building.. something to do..


By anonymous at 15,Jan,12 23:59

You are here for a reason. Be strong. Imagine your daughter and your grandchildren dealing with the fact so many family members decided to leave them. Even if she blames you, which is not logical. You could not prevent any of this. You can help to stop it in your family.


By flallinspeuw.myopenid.com at 18,Jan,12 06:09

Want to get together and have a game of cribbage?


By anonymous at 22,Jan,12 21:04

you seem like youve lived a long, full life and there is so much more of that to do. maybe not with the same people but with the strengths you have developed over time. have faith that you have outlived many of your loved ones for a reason, your grandkids need you to tell them who there father was, maybe even to fib a little and tell them he was a great, great man. it will change their lives and only you can do this job.


By anonymous at 23,Jan,12 23:24

I am deeply sorry for your losses... this story has broken my heart. I pray that you and your daughter work things out... God is Good and HE loves you and your whole FAMILY.... Please remember that!!!!


By anonymous at 14,Feb,12 03:17

WHEN IT IS YOUR TIME TO MEET YOUR MAKER YOU WILL

BUT FOR NOW CHERISH THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE LIVED ANOTHER DAY
YOU HAVE FELT THE SUNSHINE ON YOUR FACE ONE MORE TIME
YOU HAVE SEEN LIFE FOR ONE MORE DAY

SUICIDE NEVER HELPS ANY THING I LOST MY BEST FRIEND TO SUICIDE AND IT WAS PRETTY HARD TO OVERCOME

GO AND SOEAK TO YOUR DAUGHTER LET HER KNOW YOU LOVE HER AND YOU MISS HER

LET HER KNOW YOU WANT HER IN YOUR LIFE

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO BETTER YOUR LIFE

ITS UP TO YOU TO WORK THINGS OUT

DONT LET PRIDE DESTROY WHAT CAN BE.


YES YOU MOURN THE LOSS OF YOUR LOVED ONES BUT NOTHING YOU EVER DO WILL BRING THEM BACK

NOW CHERISH THE TIME YOU HAVE ON THIS GLORIOUS EARTH AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT

WHEN GOD CALLS YOU YOUR SOUL SHOULD BE HAOOY TO LEAVE WITH HIM CAUSE YOU DONT HAVE ANY UNFINISHED BUSINESS HERE.


By HEYYA at 01,Feb,13 08:14

he kills him self for a bitch ? that's just crazy and leaves 5 sons behind what a role model of a father..and your wife to i wonder if they loved u dont seem like it because they didnt love them self


By anonymous at 08,Mar,14 22:29

Please hold on jesus loves you / he will heal your heart/


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