LIFE SUCKS

Depression

Hi friends!!! I m writing the following with a hope that i will get prominent moral support from u all.I was in final year and i feel in love with aboy whom i had never seen! he used to run sms groups and by mistake i had sent him an sms. he asked me who was i and other stuff abt me. I didn give the correct information but i thot it was fun to talk with an unknown..and i thot i would go temporarily and then i would not talk to him again. but i went on realising that i was in love with that boy. I made efforts not to talk to him later but i couldn.One day he told me that his father read all my sms and he was beaten badly. and he commited to me the next morning saying that he loves me and wants me for life at any cost! we were not met till then and still i agreed foolishly! Then as we went on talking,i started to spend most of my time wid him and my friends were too much annoyed with this.I was a hostelite at that time and my friends tried a lot to convince me but how could i end this? I had started fearing that he may blackmail me later and he has beared the pain for me,how can i leave him? and i loved him besides!! He had lied to me that he was jus 2 years elder but then after 3 months of our relation he told me that he was 4 years elder. he was a failure. i was damn hurt but i accepted him. time passed by and later on i asked him to meet me. he was not ready but i forced him and he did come to meet me next day. I was very horrified at the way he looked. But i stayed calm and talked as usual. the night he asked me something and i wasnt replying so he thot i didn like his looks and thot that till today. but i had loved him,i couldnt do this to him just because he looked ugly. but later on i dont know how we came close to each other. We used to meet often. he was madly attracted to me. he couldnt control himself getting close to me. but i didnt want to be physical with him atleast we got married. He used to fight with me a lot,taking unlimited doubts regarding boys. he told me everyday something that he is being harrased at home and one day he didnt bring his phone and told me that his phone is been snatched by his parents. so he asked me for money so that he could call me in the morning. i used to lend him money everytime he asked me,atleast every week a hundred rupees. he used to call from a PCO. I always remained as aupport to him,morally as well as materially. i used to run to him in his one call to me.there was never any incident that he asked me to do and i did not.one day he spoke too much regarding my family and me. anything that came to his mouth. i trusted him like hell and i had shared all my secrets with him. i went to meet him the other day and i asked him to breakup with me. I came to know he never loved me! and I..... The next day he went to my cousin who was his classmate and asked him for help. I knew that cousin of mine but not so closely. he called me asked me to come to meet them. I was shocked to listen that he wanted me to patch up with my boyfriend again. i trusted him and so i thot he may be right in what he was saying. he made us understand and asked us to go outside together. he spoke well to me. we were talking jus like before but i was not able to forget all that he bhaved to me. i had come to know some of the lies he told me from my cousin and i decide to forgive him just because i thot he is guilty for what he did. he said that. but i couldnt forget the way he behaved or lied to me!! how could i? i was so faithful to him,i did everything for him and he gave me all the possible pain he could,how could i damn forgive him? and next day i found that my sis came to know this. she was one os my very close cousins and she asked me. i told her everything and she asked my that cousin and he said he was sorry to do that. but i knew that he wasnt. he started blaming me in front of my sis. i came to know from her that he had became a drunkard and my bf gave him some cash to patch up with me. i was shocked!!! my sis helped me to erase all the data my bf had in his PC. and i finally broke up with him. my sis thinks i m not a good girl. and even my brother came to know what this. i m blamed,not liked by them and and now i m in great depression how too get up from this now.. I m not able to digest what happened to me. PLS SUGGEST ME WHAT SHOULD I DO? Please!!!