I am 29 years old. I have been in and out of college since I was 19. I don't know if I'm bi-polar or what, but my environment and past experiences seems to set the precedent for how I see myself. I also have anxiety, sometimes badly. I guess I built my life around keeping that in mind. I haven't had a girlfriend in about 10 years. I made a move to new town because I was tired of the loneliness of the last one and am staying with an 'acquaintance'. (He's smokes pot all day and has more problems than I do) I can't get a job. I have had a couple interviews and had panic attacks both times, once I had to run away from it. Whenever I think about going in for an interview where they want to get to know me (which is the standard since my resume is so crappy) I freak myself out and can't go. It's like I'm being possessed by something. I'm also a part-time student without a car, so finding work is hard enough, plus the fact that there is this recession and I'm in a town with high unemployment anyways. There's no heat in the house (extremely cold!) and I have no money to go anywhere. It feels like a psychological prison. I have nothing to do but wonder what the hell happened to me. I'm not dumb or mean but I know I appear that way. I don't have anything positive to rely on or help pull me up and I find myself becoming more estranged from everything. I'm crazy, but I can step out of myself and see what is wrong, I just can't change it.