I suck at everything,I don't know what I'm best at,but i do know that i can be worst at everything.After my high school I didn't know what subjects i should take in university,last year.I wasted my fucking one whole year in order to realize that.I decided to get into best university in my country.I did it.I got admission this year in LAW department.I joined it.I don't even know what shit I'm going to study in it.I never had any extracurricular activities.I applied for community service society and media and arts society,but never get selected for these societies,just because I did not have experience in any such thing.I realllyy wanted to do extracurricular in this time,to know new things,but why the hell didn't they select me.I never felt confident because I never had good writing and speaking skills(probably because of my bad grooming).I can't even write an essay.I'm always scared of expressing my ideas.I think my English and grammar both are bad.I don't even know what is the right pace of a comma in a sentence structure.I have very few topics of discussion when I sit in a group.I never have good arguments.I don't even pray daily anymore,I feel like I'm a looser.I have started accepting that God does not like me.I have become a procrastinator,my room is never clean,my books are always scattered,I have gained weight,I don't look good like how i used to.It's been 2 months since my first year begun,but Im not enjoying it like my other peers are.I feel like my class fellows are better than me,sharp,witty and interesting.I want to break my bubble and open up and let others to penetrate in my bubble.I want to be what I am.But I don't even know who I am.Do I? :( | |