Ever wonder why some people are workaholics?
Why people want to find a way to make themselves pathetically busy, to the point where you are almost unable to see them regularly?
Why some people cannot seem to stay single, why lottery winners hang themselves, why celebrities commit suicide, why there's so much depression in the world?
In my opinion, one of the main reasons for all of the situations above is PURPOSE. Finding a purpose for your life, a meaning for your existence, something/someone waiting for you to wake up in the morning, a motivation to put on clean clothes in the morning and get out of your safe, comfortable bed.
The reason why im on this very site. I feel as if I have no purpose. I search, I dig, to find some hidden talent, some passion, some interest... I don't come across any. I have very good looks but that almost seems to be about it. And that only gets your foot thru the door (not in every case) but after that?
Today I had a horribly depressing day. and I will tell you this, I AM PMSing. That is very true. But apart from my raging hormones, underneath, I have some needs that are not met.
When I was younger, I always envisioned myself to be a successful, beautiful woman who everyone would love. I envisioned a handsome guy finding me and taking me away.
I am 23 and apart from receiving my bachelor's degree, I havent achieved any other goal. I look at people who have had the same time on earth as me and have already achieved so much, are already millionaires..... and i am sitting here in my parents house, unemployed, still searching for a PURPOSE. Its sad. and I hate myself for it. and if anyone comes near me right now, I will bark at them like a n angry dog.
I hate..HATE seeing my friends succeed while im so down. i cant take it. its painful. i have never been this jealous of a person in my life. what has happened to me? what happened to everything i had hoped for myself? why are other people living my dreams? why are they more successful than i am?
what the fuck am I doing on this planet? Why am i here? This has been a very sad sunday for my mind. | |
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