where do i begin...
so i started college a few months back and since then everything has taken an awful turn in my life. i had a gf who was two years younger than me and we had dated for just over a year, then we broke up shortly after college started. i was fine at first then i started to miss her but she didnt give a shit anymore and said she lost feelings for me. its apparent to me now that she must have gotten bored of the relationship: i sucked in bed always cumming early or not getting it up, i realize how boring i am and how shed just rather fuck other guys and be single. i helped her through so much and still have intense felings for her but its apparent to me now that she never loved me and only loved the attention i gave her when she was down on herself. it was the only serious relationship ive had and i now uunderstand why girls never wanna date me. im just awkward, boring, innocent, overly emotional, and naive.
i have nothing to offer, it hurts me overall socially as well, ppl just think im weird and awkward. i remember being happy but since this has happened shit has just gotten awful with me personally. im such a negative source of energy and all i do is bitch about how much my life sucks and how depressed i am, people must think im a loser but thats fine cuz i know im a loser. i now understand why i got picked on a lot in school. the semesters about to end here at school and ive lost all motivation to do anything besides sleep, smoke cigarettes, eat, and bum around lazily. smoking weed doesnt even make me happy anymore it only makes this shit worse. im a failure at everything ive ever done and am not special at all, plus i have no ability to deal with this petty shit even though those around me have been through such worse shit, i dont think im cut out for the real world. theres so much more i have to say but fuck it, i cant even fit it all here. suicide is definitely an option, i just see no purpose to anything anymore... | |
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