I got laid off from my job in December 2009. I have a B.A. degree in Psychology and I just completed a Masters degree in Accounting a few months ago. To this day, I have not been able to find a job. My unemployment benefits just ran out a few weeks ago. I have been diligently searching for a job for two years and have not had any luck at all. I've put in application everywhere but to no avail. It seems as though an education is worthless nowdays in this piss poor economy. I am 34 years old, broke, and live with my mother and autistic 32 year old brother. I assist my mother in caring for my brother as he cannot bathe or toilet on his own. We have to bathe him and wipe his butt for him. He is like a big baby. This is very challenging situtation for us. Our father was a truck driver and got killed in an accident when I was 11. I feel like the biggest failure and screw-up that has ever been. I am jobless, broke and fat I love my mother but she can be an extremely difficult person to get along with. She is condescending and looks for every opportunity to put someone down. It seems as though her gift is making a person feel like crap. No one can do it better than her. She loves to fuss and raise hell. I did not ask to be broke and unemployed. I did not ask for this messed up situation. This is very depressing. I feel like a worthless piece of crap. Sometimes I think I would be better off dead, but I fear I will go to hell if I commit suicide. I do believe in God and I try to live a Christian life, but I am not perfect and I do fall short. It is very hard to live this life. For about 10 years of my life, I was an alcoholic. I got drunk almost everyday. I loved that bottle more than I loved my own life. My father was an alcoholic when he was living. God delivered me from alcoholism and I went about five years and did not drink. Having to deal with being laid off and not being able to find work hascaused my desire for the bottle to come back. I have messed up a few times this year and gotten drunk. Everyday now, I have to fight the urge to go and get a fifth of vodka and devour the entire bottle. Seems like nothing I try to do comes out right. Stuff has definitely got to get better.