LIFE SUCKS

I don't believe you are a successful husband and father.
If your wife makes your life miserable most of the time, it means you're unhappy most of the time and there's no way this will end up well if she doesn't change.
The only way she'll change is if you let her know if she doesn't stop throwing tantrums and being so disrespectful to you, she might lose you.
She's your wife, your partner in life, not your boss. A couple is a life for two, neither of you should be "the boss", it's a partnership.
Trust me, if you're unhappy (and she clearly is too, no one that cranky can be happy), the children will pick it up. Kids are much smarter than adults give them credit for, they know you guys are unhappy and that will affect how they feel, too.
Go to counseling, dialogue, I know it's all easier said then done, but if you want to save that marriage and make things better, you two gotta cooperate and look for help.
If all fails, it's not a crime to get a divorce.
It's better to be alone, than together and miserable. Just don't forget the kids, and for fuck's sake, stop reproducing, whether you like to hear it or not, putting more children in this world will DEFINITELY make things worse, don't be irresponsible.
Good luck!

im no expert -

but tell her exactly how you feel - and not only say it say how much bad it makes you feel and take charge a little

Sounds lot like what I'm going through. Been living together under a year, married a month. Bottom line is, its verbal abuse. Sounds like your partner has all the signs of a abusive personality disorder. Iv just realized a few days ago myself, and waiting for the right moment to have that 'chat'. Not an easy decision, but can't have someone raging at me and crossing all the personal lines and boundaries. She sorts it out or we split. Good luck to you, try do the right thing, but look out for your interests first.

Ever think she could use a break? The daily grind with kids can be overwhelming. Then the husband coming home at night adds so much more if he does not help. Send her away for a weekend. Help with the kids at night. Sounds like the reason she is the way she is is because she is unhappy.

Just an idea...

Take a video of her while she is yelling at the kids or record/video her while she is putting you down. Then, show her the video/recording.

She needs to see what she is doing. This might help.

I'm going through the exact same thing! Ive had enough but I have 3 boys and my youngest would be DEVESTATED if Daddy left but I don't know how much more I can take. She yells at me and the kids CONSTANTLY. Plus if we divorce, suddenly I'm in financial ruin and part time dad ( cause the courts are soo effing tilted to the moms ). Life definitely sucks large!!

Fucking women's who they think they are it's only for the children we tolerate them and they abuse us. If there was no children I would have left her the first day she welled at me.

eYwipw Excellent web site. A lot of useful info here. I am sending it to some friends ans also sharing in delicious. And naturally, thanks for your sweat!