LIFE SUCKS

Losing hope...

I'm 19. I hate my life, I hate everything about myself, and I hate most of the few friends I have. I have big dreams, but no motivation to go after them. After I got my GED I took a break from school.....a break that hasn't ended. I dont even have the motivation to fill out college applications. I quit the only job I ever had because the pay sucked, and It took me an hour to walk to work because I had no car. I had no car, so I rarely left the house on weekends. I haven't kissed a girl in 3 years. The lonelyness and lack of motivation is killing me. I'm on meds but they aren't working. My parents don't understand how depressed and hopeless I feel. I feel like a loser and failure. I think about suicide, but It would kill me to have my 3 year old nephew's parents to explain to him someday why his uncle killed himself. I just don't know any other way out of this pit. I'm losing my desire to live. Most people love planning their future. I'm lucky if I can plan out an entire week. Fuck my life.