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Beaten

Posted by Sad D at December 16, 2011
Tags: Abuse  2011 December

I was molested as a child by one of my mothers relatives every morning before I went to school. I remember falling asleep every night with the fear of having to go to the babysitters the next day. I would think of ways to avoid the abuse and pray to God for help but none of that helped. I think that's when I lost a piece of my soul and faith. The rest has been chipped away through the years. I have hated myself for 20 years and there hasnt been a day when I havent wished for death. I believe life can great but not for me because I am too damaged and jaded. I have no desire to see what the future holds and there is nothing in life I want or look forward to. In the last couple of years I have become bitter and angry, so angry at the world. I am filled with hate..hate towards those who have hurt me and hate towards those who laugh and enjoy life while I drown in silence. There isnt a day when I don't choke on my hate and anger and I am soooo exhausted. I wish for death because I cannot bear another day filled with such ugly feelings.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Bullshit February 7, 2012
Abuse June 2, 2011
Life sucks BIG Time! July 12, 2010
Betrayal May 12, 2012
Beaten thand left to die October 6, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 19,Jan,12 23:07

fagget
By anonymous at 21,Jan,12 04:11

idiot
By anonymous at 29,Jan,12 18:03

ur a fagget as well....
By anonymous at 05,Apr,12 12:10

Terd


By anonymous at 20,Jan,12 16:27

so you understand the main problem..
your feelings .. not what happened but your feelings..
you may think that what happened provoked those feelings but there are many people out there who have been abused but now living their life happily..
all this anger and hate ends up to you and destroys only yourself..
bad thing happen to everyone, i'm not trying to underestimate your problems, i'm just trying to say that you are stucked and this isn't going nowhere.
you can go to jury to find justice, but you can also help yourself to recover, see a professional a psychologist or someon who is able to help and support you or a close friend who is willing to stand by you..
it may be a long way but you have to find the strenght to recover, bad feelings don't lead to anywhere.
it's up to you to make a new start..
if that was easy you wouldn't see so many people in here crying depserately..
By anonymous at 20,Jan,12 21:00

ur also a fagget


By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 09:04

and my final comment to all you motherfuckers who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.


By brenda at 10,Dec,15 17:10

Thank you for sharing your knolwedge about blogging. I just stumbled upon your blog and read your post about how to blog comment more effectively. I just started commenting on blogs and was having a hard time keeping track of which ones I enjoyed/commented on etc. I was adding them to my favorites but your Google Reader method is a lot more efficient (plus I can just log into my Google account and access them from any computer even my Ipad which is super convenient). Anyway, I added your blog and will be visiting quite often. I find your posts easy to read (even though they are quite long lol) and the topics quite interesting and helpful. Thabks again!


By Chloe at 10,Dec,15 17:23

It is funny isn't it. When we start out as bloggers it is a hobby. At least for me, I never rellay stopped to consider that people would actually read my blog, I wrote for my personal pleasure. I guess you feel the same.Maybe you should not be asking your readers what you should write. Maybe people come here to read what you are currently interested in, not what they are interested in?


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