when you have a family that is so torn apart but puts on a smily face when together, it also now equals to so much for ever getting together on holidays. It doesnt help too when you have no lovelife, no friends except a few that dont live close so you hardly see them and basically be a waste of space every weekend. Got to work during the week, why? To come to the end of the week knowing I will be alone,my income wont be used for a nice dinner out with friends or just plain going out somewhere, to not even meeting anyone normal on a dating site to not being able to be an aunt to my sibling's kids.
I am glad to see there is a site for me and glad people share in pain like mine. I have always had an unsettled life in relationships, yes, friends that think of themselves, stuck on themselves, and get everything they want including a husband and kids. And no, I no longer are friends with them for I was done dealing with their selfishness. Wondering when does it ever get better for me.
I dont know why God takes the people who have a nice life, ARE LOVED and leave ones like us here to suffer day after day with feeling like no one cares and continuing to waste space. I have dubbed myself "a waste of space"! Therapuetic, ha ha! All want to join me!
If I had the courage I would do what all the courageous ones have done, end it all, but I keep thinking of "an aunt who will long to see those kids grow up" even though I hardly see them, but I highly doubt I will be missed, so it is still tempting for I see no end in sight with my meaningless life. Why do soldiers get killed but yet I live? Live to exist while they defended our country and have friends and family who love them. Well, may you all have a nice Easter weekend, may you all have plans to get together with loved ones, for if not, at least we have this site now to commiserate together. Oh, boy I cant wait for another holiday Memorial Day, another time to not get together with my family! | |
on another note, to the writer of the story above, i do feel sorry for you. I suggest that you can join some kind of volunteer group like the salvation army, soup kitchens etc... meet new people, feel good about yourself knowing that you did something good, and who knows maybe you'll meet someone you'll fall in love with. Or like the guy above suggested, you can try finding a good church to go to, i go to a baptist one and we're all very loving and nice.
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