my bestfriend ( now ex best friend ) introduced me to a girl that he said was perfect for me becuz she was looking for love same as i was. little did we both know that she was shy as bug.even so i kept talking to her for a good while until i started to like her and she started to like me. when i found this out i was happy until she revealed to me that she liked 4 other guys, and that she would take a step towards not being shy and pick one of us to b with, i apparently was the last guy standing, and she STILL was ready. i tried everything to make her bold up, i started training with a friend and told her about it so she would get jealous and decide she wasnt going to let any other girl have me.
since i met her ive been tryin to get her to open up nd not be shy...i tried everything finally one thing worked but tht one thing meant i had to lose her....lose her long enuff for her to open up and b bold...bold enuff to want to hav sex with another guy, now i cant get d image of the both of them out of my mind....and it hurts like FUCK, adding to that, in the time i had to lose her,i fell in love with another girl who recently told me she liked me. This made me feel quite happy because i was trying to get her to like me for quite some time. So imagine im feeling all happy for christmas cuz im thinking that next year i could probably be with her but two days after that, she comes and tells me that she and her ex are getting close again and she wants to get with him again. sigh, to make things even worse she was supposed to b my way of being able to handle and eventually get rid of the thoughts of the former girl...but now shes just making it worse to deal with because shes added to the pain. Also just a brief over view of what else happened in the year with my "love" life...i managed to get the girl of my dreams to like me this year
she promised me a long relationship, happiness, love, full attention, respect and pleasure, but then some time after told me she liked another guy as well and didnt knw who to choose...but when she continued to keep paying more attention to me than the other guy (or so i thought) we went out together and everything. Had a great time...then finally came the week when she was going to choose for sure, i asked advice from one of my pro girl dating friends...he said to show her i can be fun ...but i didnt have time for that as it takes her a while to be able to persuade her parents to let her go out. So instead she had a graduation and was short on cash to buy some nice clothes for the occasion...she needed a hundred dollars and her mother would only give her 50..so instead of showing her i could b fun...i decided to show her that i care..and told her that i would give her the 50 dollars...she declined...the next morning i went on facebook to see that she sent me several messages...this made me feel good cuz it was near the deadline n she wanted to talk so early in the morning...but unfortunately...she told me that her mother had given her the full 100 dollars...but she STILL wanted the 50 from me...i was in a tough spot...on one hand when i offered the money i was just trying to be nice, and seeing that she was given the full funds, i no longer wanted to give up my money...but on the other hand, this girl was the girl of my dreams and i wanted to be with her with all my heart, so i gave her the money...all her friends laughing and giggling...as she took it from me with a smirk on her face...like wow i cant believe hes giving me this...never even said thanks until later that day when she called and apologized for "forgetting" to say thank you. But what really pissed me off that evening was the fact that i told her i gave her the money to make her happy cuz i want to be with her...and when she responded with an oh...i knew my chance with her was over, cuz she didnt like me anymore...plus she told me that instead of giving me back the change she didnt spend from the 50...she instead used the rest of it to buy a hat for her mother although im quite sure she knew y i gave her the money, so buying that hat was just an act of cruelty, of course on saturday night she told me she chose the other guy but what followed next was head bangingly angering, she revealed to me that the guy who usto be on the phone everyday when we were webcaming, her bestfriend all along was the guy who she liked and wanted...the thing is had i known that i wouldve backed off...i wudnt have allowed myself to fall for her so hardly, and i wouldnt have wasted time effort and money. To add insult to injury i had my driving test in two days, monday to be precise, which since my heart was so heavy and aching and my mind was all over the place...i went in and failed...but then her new boyfriend went in a week after me...passed his test and drove to her house in HISSSS car...completely impressed her and had her freaking about how proud she was...and all i could do was wallow in the mire of shame and sadness. Then further more all the pleasure she promised me...would eventually got to him when she let me know that for their birthdays which were both in october, they were going to go out in his car, find a nice private spot and have complete body oral sex. Ive always hated my life...people have made fun of me all my life because im really dark and not so easy on the eyes, and these three girls made me feel happy for once..because they looked past my outside and saw the goodness of my heart...then one by one...crushed it...because of the girl of my dreams...i thought i was both going to have the best vacation and the best year of my life...now thanks to the combination of losing her plus two other girls and failing my driving test...with the doubt that i will b able to do it again until im a full grown man like everything else because ive never had a relationship...ive never even made out, i cant think of a better vacation or year, and trust me, every year vacation and year sucked quite a bit. Finally since talking to the first girl whos planning to have sex with another guy is too painful...and talking to the second girl who had oral sex in the back of her boyfriends car is too painful...and talking to the third girl whos going to abandon her feelings for me for her ex is too painful...i cant talk to any of them...which means im lonely like a hirmit and really and trully dont have any friends, sometimes i wish i could die..............:( | |
Im just saying that most of those relationships are teens being stupid and wanting to date around, of course not every girls is like that, but for the most part high school relationships can mean next to nothing. You shouldnt let these girls get to you. Obviously it just wasnt meant to be, and take it as a learning experience. Look for a girl whos like you. One who wants a real relationship, look beyond her appearance if need be and know that youre not the only one out there.. Im sure there are many guys and girls with similar experiences.
As for driving, clear your head of this, look to the future, and try again(:
Never let these experiences stop you
the second is an indecisive bitch who likes to be treated like trash.
the third is kinda a gold-digger and a female version of a player.
and last but not least u were not thinking with ur heart but ur dick which made u fall for such dumb choices...
instead of beating urself up for this shit, just know that u had a valuable lesson in life that vacation and that hopefully u can differentiate between ur dick and ur heart in future situations and meet (mb not the right one) but some1 better.
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