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Downward spiral

Posted by k-a.. at December 28, 2011
Tags: Attitude  2011 December

Well I am on the downward spiral for sure. About three months ago I came back from a 2 month trip overseas to race competitvely with a foreign bike racing team, was entering University and future was looking very stable and all plans seemed laid out. I got scared, lonely, and felt like I was only kidding myself. I quit the sport right away and hated everyone and everything about it. I looked only 1 direction down. I fell in love with being self destcructive. I get drunk alone and at parties (in which i dont even like the people its just an excuse to get hammered), I smoke pot every day and want to stop but love escaping for abit each day, started smoking ciggarettes for some reason. My parents care too much and it bugs me having them always on my fucking case. I wish they would let me drown or burn away in this basement!! When I look forward I dont want to return to the sport, I dont want to go any further into substance and I dont want to get any more depressed but at the same time I really dont give a shit...!!! ARGH theres my basketcase story...

sry for wasting ur time


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New Comment

By anonymous at 28,Jan,12 19:33

sounds like you fucked yourself. it's not bad just quit looking for a reason to be pissed

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