I have no dad. My grandpa's dead, No brother's No sister's. My grandma's ..I don't know about her. I hate my mom more then anything I have ever hated.
I don't live my life for myself anymore and the few things I do for myself just lead to more trouble I smoke I do drugs whatever. Those don't even make me happy anymore I have a boyfriend I feel I constantly need to please Even though he's my Bestfriend I feel like I'm constantly competing for attention I want to be able to relate to someone I hate this world I hate the things were expected to do I hate school. I HATE SCHOOL.I wish I could just die. I cut myself. I have since 6th grade. My mom still thinks it's just some sorta of cry for attention like she ever gave me any even though I tell her all the time how much it's not I honestly feel like she's the reason I can't be happy. She forced me into dance tells me I'm fat Tells me I'm ugly tells me why guys don't find me attractive.
My Bestfriend in the entire world. I can't even hang out with her in broad daylight. cause her mom hates me.
My boyfriend gets seizures. He once stormed out of the apartment I live at and the police were called I was in the bathroom crying all they did was yell at me to open the door flashed a fucking bright ass flashlight in my face and tell me how disrespectful I was being for yelling even though it was my boyfriend who was yelling.I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY that's all but it seems like something just doesn't want to let that happen cause no matter how many times things go right SOMETHING COMES AND FUCKS THEM UP. I've been told I'mm attractive by alot of people and it hurts cause honestly deep down in my heart I can't believe that ,I never will. I've had relationships they've all been ruined due to my trust issues. I'm not sure about religon anymore it scares me.
All I know is I wanna die.
There is alot more I can say.
But really.. in the end what those this really matter.
Thank you for listening though. | |
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