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Fuck life

Posted by Cj at December 29, 2011
Tags: 2011 December  Juvenile problems

I fucking hate my life I live in a shity trailer in the middle of nowhere with absolutely no real friends literally woman I burn for ignores me when ever I try to talk to her it was just Christmas and I spent the whole night curled up around a toilet puking my brains out and I was completely sober and have been forced to stay that way for over a year while every body around me has their escapes all I want in life is for my car to run at least decently I mean really is that really to much to ask? Iv poured money into it and no matter what it still runs like shit it can't even sit at a red light without dying I go to school full time and I work but there's no joy in my life I had to leave all my friends and family and my pretty ok life over night to move out to this shity little life that I live now which I was told it would be better all and all I have to say WHAT THE FUCK YOU GOD DAMN LIARS!!! But what the fuck ever you know I got a slut of an ex girlfriend that has every body at my school thinking that I choked and beat her for the 6 months we were together when i have never lade a hurtful hand on any woman in my life and now I can't get a girl to even say hi to me I truly hate waking up in the morning and dragging my self out to school I mean come the fuck on I live 2 miles away from the nearest neighbor and 10 from town masturbations has even lost it's fun my so called family tells me "relax it'll get better" well how the hell are things supposed to get better when every thing blows up in my face literally every thing my computer crapped out on me I swear I am never meant to be happy all I want is to have a car that I know will start and run good to get me where I need to go hang out with the woman that I burn for have a beer and smoke a bowl but no instead I have to stick with a life of anonymity where I hate everybody I see every day I need to find a dealer in my area so I can at least have I little chance of the slightest mental escape it's simple as that so that's the sum of a week of my life I know there are others put there that have it worse but at least they have at least one friend to talk to I have no one to call when I need someone but whatever fuck it all my life is shit and that's the way and I guess it will be that way for a long time

Votes:

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Comments:
By anonymous at 28,Jan,12 01:19

Hey bro. Sounds like you got abducted by aliens, need to get that shit checked out. Also if your computer "crapped out" how are you typing this? I do have one bit of advice. Take your pooping computer to a pawn shop. I bet they have never seen a computer that literally poops. They would prolly pay big bucks for that shit, literally. Also, this is a REALLLLLLLLLY long sentence. I suggest you try using commas and periods. They will make your life sooo much brighter.


By anonymous at 28,Jan,12 02:05

It looks like you are condemning yourself, though through rage, and are using the negative experiences to determine how you feel. Don't worry. Almost everyone does that. Find out what you want, and go for it. If everything seems to be going wrong around you, do everything you can to change what you are being subjected to, through moving, or whatever. Try to get away from your addiction in a positive way by replacing it with something else that helps you to escape. If not, do what you gotta do. If everyone else thinks you are bad, it won't help much for you to think you're bad too now will it? If a girl won't talk to you, look at yourself and try to find out why. See if it's anything you could be doing or working on. And don't be discouraged if you still get upset or angry. It takes a long time to change. Progression is slow. Seems you are really upset. I know girls don't really like that much, they need someone comforting and supportive who won't get mad at the first sign of something happening. If your ex is a slut, that's not good. Don't let it affect you. Be better than that. If you want her back, be sincere, and honest with her. But don't get upset if she doesn't give u exactly what you want the second you ask for it. Girls are generally afraid and take a long time to gain their trust. But it's worth it if she is a good girl and you show you are patient with her. And to be honest, despite everything, you seem to have done very well with hanging in there for school and work everyday. You should be proud of that and of yourself. Now try to work on your anger and patience, and remember, whatever happens, you can control how you feel and where you go in life. You have a life worth living if you choose so. Now go get it; and have patience with yourself first and foremost.
By Cj at 29,Jan,12 16:06

Well the positives are all almost two years past now. I don't want my ex back. I give everyone respect no matter how much I don't want to. And still nothing changes there are many who have It worse I know but my situation isn't as easy as " go get it" or any thing like that every step forward is a step back. I help people when they call on me for it and then I can't get them to do the same even once..


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