When I was younger my dad was a cocaine addict and abused my mum, my mum was in and out of hospital because of my dad. Dad eventually got kicked out by the police and me and my younger brother didn't see him for 4 years. I know I haven't got a bad life compared to a lot of people. Whilst we didn't see my dad I started to comfort eat and self harm, our family was broke and my mum had to take money from our piggy banks just to stop our home being repossessed numerous times. There was loads of other shit going on at the time but I don't want to keep going on... My mum has bipolar, so when I am around her now it's like walking on eggshells and you never know how she is going to react to what she says. My dad has been arrested recently, it was even on BBC news so now loads of people around me know about it and now think i'm some sort of criminal. I'm really scared he is going to go back in prison when we have only just got our relationship back on track then we are on our own and back to scrounging for money. We found out just after my dad had been arrested that my mum might have cancer again so I could be left with no mum and a dad in prison. My mum is falling apart because of this, I now have deal with this as my little brother is just a typical 14 year old and hates everyone and everything, mostly just spends his time in his room or out with his friends. During this time I seem to be getting angrier and angrier, I have no time to go out with friends or even do work and revision for my A level exams, I don't want to start self harming again as when I did I was in a really bad place. I just don't know if I will cope with all this, but I don't want to moan as I know there are a lot of people worse off than me. I just needed to off load some emotions as I can't even tell any of my friends. | |
I dont get the whole self harm thing. what exactly are you getting out of it? Do you have some kind of fetish for pain or some shit. Is it like masturbation except with a blade? I dont get it....
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