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how do i title this

Posted by whogivesafuck at January 6, 2012
Tags: Family  Health  2012 January  Loneliness

well first i spent the first 20 years of my life as a loner, i never had any childhood friends not that it would matter because now that i am 23 and never worked a day in my life (that i got paid for) and i am hopelessly addicted to Klonopin of which doctors wont fucking help i cant afford and the ER is shit i have blacked out countless times i have had seizures nothig helps like i said i have worked with my dad to pay the rent a lot i am a slave how about that for a thumbs up or thumbs it down be an ass i guess?, also recently got a girlfriend (dont fucking ask how) she is down on herself trying to be skinny for me she's 200lbs and she's not that great looking but at least shee is nice so give me some not that bad on this i guess for that simple reason, i firmly expect my life to be pure shit before i reach 30, and possibly after, if i make it to the after with all the fucking med problems and shit i get pains constantly unless it take opiates with my meds.... i cant touch alcohol its happened ive done a lot of things ive exercised and passed out they told me to eat pizza i eat pizza i throw up i cant get off my meds cause cant afford a doctors visit and please dont get me started on how bad i hate people in my life at this point. i wish i had stayed away from people like i used to , eating my lunch in the bathroom stalls.. my sister fucked my uncle at 13 (longer story but too longto tell) basically he coulda cut my throat when i was 8 and that caused my parents divorce because she claimed he raped her instead of my uncle who my mom was stupid enough to believe, and later when it was in my sister's diary that she was doing this /with/ my uncle (all of it) (and gettting rid of my dad as she p ut it supposedly) Oh yeah this is why i started having anxiety attacks, cause i only learned about this when i was 19 or 20 or so, and a lot of other family bullshit my mom hounding me every fucking second of the fucking day but thats not much not really, i just want things to work out you know? Maybe not be 15,000 in debt to the hospital for fucking my life up, to doctors, to psychiatrists, all after i was 19, all of this is fairly recent except my nofriend and shy childhood i guess. but my life is hell now, and this girl taht picked me is not in any way a help, but i guess ive said enough cause who really cares anyway? thumb it sideways. cause i care too much.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 02,Feb,12 03:00

Im sorry to hear about all the hardships you've endured. Its not over, heres some good news!

God uses the weak, the powerless, the hurt, and the lonely in GREAT ways. Heres a illustration: A potter will take a helpless, lifeless lump of clay and then knead it and squeeze it until it's soft and pliable. And then when he gets it just right, he takes that piece of clay and he does something called throwing, where he places the clay on a spinning table.
aAnd as that clay is placed upon that turning wheel, the potter's hands then begin to pressure the clay and work it until he makes something beautiful out of that old ugly piece of clay.

God is the true master craftsman. He is a potter who is making something beautiful out of every life. He will take the old ugly mistakes and sins and make them into something completely new!

When you truly know God, you can live victoriously! So whatever the ugliness is in your life, be assured that through the blood of Christ, God molds you and makes you into something beautiful! Many people can testify to how God has changed them. Ive never heard of anyone regretting putting their faith in jesus.

Are you saved? God can turn the worst of situations into good! Joeseph was put into slavery by his brothers, he was abandonded, afraid, probably thought his life was over. But he trusted God, he then eventually became second in command of Egypt. Without looking into the future it can be hard to be optimistic. If you put your faith with jesus he wont abandon you, he will love you and give you a new life.

Youtube Nick vujicic. He's a man who was born with no legs or arms, God has done great things through him.

This isin't an ad or some other bull, I'm trying to bring you the truth which many can testify too.

Regards,

Kevin
By ~C at 02,Feb,12 03:21

i agree completly with Kevin, except for one thing.....fully seek Jesus, learn about the things he did......how many times have people thrown palm leaves on the ground to pad your path when you come into a new town?.....people back then were not stupid, the good news of the wonderful miracles spread quickly to the neighboring towns, and still today, his story is told, trust, loved, believed......the one thing i would tell you to do differently than Kevin is make sure that when you pray and ask Jesus into your life, do it for the right reasons.....don't be looking for what you can get out of it.....does the clay tell the potter what the finished product should look like?......NO.....seek Jesus so that you may know him and know the truth which has been hidden, but is easily found......ask and you will receive, knock and the door will open.....but for this to happen your heart must be in an honest and right place, not simply seeking personal and selfish gain, but truth and light.


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