"Tell your story about how life sucks" Well, I dont know if I can even tell that it sucks, because I have all my family members alive, my parents are good people and they love me, I'm not starving like some unlucky people, I don't have a deadly disease. Basically I have all to survive and to live normal(more or less), and I'm only beginning to live. But I am different than most people I have met, not that I am afraid of speaking to someone, or that I hate everybody, It's just that I seem very cold. And people don't like that. I look nice so I attract many people, many want to get to know with me( there are even many girls that I have rejected and I already regreted it while I was rejecting them, lol, but I just couldn't make any mistake, :((( life sucks). But I don't care much about them and I don't speak very much so they all get dissapointed, but I still don't care. And since most of the people(the big stupid mass) where I live tend to be the same and follow the -traditional- behavior, or whatever, I don't know how to say it properly, I hate this place. How to become friends with such people? What to talk about? Some stupid everyday things that are server on TV or about makeup or poeple's stupid problems that they can't solve because they are idiots who think with their emotions? And to get drunk or to do something that everyone does? Why? ... And lately I have discovered that there is actually a group of people in this small town that suits me, they all have modern way of life, they listen good music, have hobbies, they protect environment, and they are very active socially. And then I discovered that I am the same as them, except for one thing, I am very passive. They are all active and they hang out all the time, do things, make things work, make events, visit and enjoy them, and I am never part of that because deep inside I am alone and I cannot deal with people (Sometimes I wish I am some random idiot). I am very strong mentally, I have a strong character, but still, why cannot I deal with people? Because they act natural: they do unexpected things, they lie, they steal, they fight(on a global level), they make wrong decisions, and mostly because of traumas or as a revenge for something. And THAT IS STUPID. But hey, it's totally normal, it's how things work in this universe. Animals are like that, they fight each other, they kill, they are all different and they do stupid things sometimes. And we have knowledge, yes, but still most people make same mistakes over and over again. We meet with things like this every day and I cannot take it.
So on one side I love my family, I LOVE the luck for not being hungry or sick, I like music, literature, sports, science, good people who behave normal, live healthy and make good decisions.
On the other side I hate humanity and all the evil people(who are caught in an endless chain of evil payback job, which exist as long as people themselves), and mostly their stupid behaviour.
And that is why I cannot think about little daily problems because they are all easy compared to the traumas of all people around the world that fuels them to do stupid and evil things every day. I will have to finish college and eventually get a job, start a familly, do things that I like, but I am only one of billions, and it doesn't even matter if I do things the right way.
And to live every day so alone and having to deal with the fact that your opinion means nothing among billions of others (of which many don't have no lives because of, again, early childhood traumas that create those people, or at least I think that's the problem) is the same like you are dead already. So the ONLY thing that is worth in life is actually doing what you like and trying to get better in it, and it is the brighter side of life, the optimistic one, but still overall life still sucks. Its actually a light at the end of the tunnel and we all struggle to get to it. Yes, that is life. Aaaand, that is my story.
P.S. Forgive me if I made mistakes in writting, english is not my language.
Give me some opinions. Good bye and all the best to you readers. | |
I also had a terrible childhood, kids hated me for what I am, so I was completely rejected, up to when I was like 13-14. And many familly issues, there were a lot of things that went wrong, grandparents were also involved and made big mistakes, so I didn't even have familly support. It was like - me against all the rest, at age of 7. It's not right to play with the personality of a future grown-up like that. It's hard to forget. Learned a lot from that period, so many mistakes made back then... That is one of the reasons why I don't like people and trust no one.
Anyway, I am going to the university in autumn this year, so the chances are bigger that things go well there.
As for languages, I speak 4 for now, at school studying 2, and 1 more since one of my parents is a foreigner.
@oem software, ask something if you wish, I will see if I can answer.
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