I am too old to be reasonably posting something on here....but it is how I feel. Ok, so I'm not THAT old, but I feel old. I have 2 wonderful children, who are what keep me going. But at night, after they are in bed, I just get so lonely and sad. My daughters father broke up with me a few weeks after I returned home with me son, who was in the hospital with a serious heart condition and ended up needing surgery. He totally blindsided me. We had just gotten engaged. Now I am either working or with me children. Which is fine, except that I never go out and don't really have any friends. I can't help feeling as if maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I had some friends to go out with sometimes, even if just for lunch or coffee. I really would like to meet new people, but part of me is scared. I feel like every time I meet someone new and build up a relationship, (whether a girl or guy, just friendship or a relationship), I end up completely alone a sad. I feel like they one day will just wake up and say to themselves "hey, I don't want to be her friend anymore". I really don't know what I am doing so wrong, or why this will happen after a few years. I'm not some mean or selfish person. I will give anything for someone I care about and consider a friend. I just wish I wasn't so alone. | |
I know what its like to have no friends. It is a legitimate setback. I have seen that strong family units or networks of close friends provides a person with the strength needed to take on the world and those who blessed enough to have that seem to be able to accomplish alot more by the confidence and mental stability they build from it, but for some of us I guess lack of this is another burden we must bear. But! there are also many with a very destructive family and in-genuine friends who are abusive and neglectful, which is definitely not something you can afford to deal with so if you don't have to deal with too much of that be thankful.
You and your children are innocent victims. Although you don't have anyone to go out with for tea, set some time for yourself before you go to bed or some time when the kids are sleeping to have a nice cup of tea. Give yourself time to enjoy the peaceful moments whenever you get them. Thank God you are not that mans mother because she failed, but you won't. Your children will be good kids, take the time to teach them the right way, with love. You have the ability to be an excellent mother despite all this. There are many amazing single mother. Maya Angelou was also a single mother.
If they are a bit old for this sort of thing then you might want to look at your own interests. Try hiring a baby sitter once every other week and doing something for you. (Money permitting) try going to a singles night (check the five minute dating things, your local churches, community centers, etc.), or even just do something for you. It's not wrong to eat dinner in a restaurant on your own. Go to a ball game, go to a theater, go see a movie, visit extended family.
If you have extended family that you trust, point out you feel isolated. If they have kids maybe do a play night where the parents can be together being grown ups and the kids can be in the other room being kids. If you like the people at work consider going out to social lunches (in restaurants or the break room!).
And tell people you are single. Maybe someone wants to ask you out or knows a single fellow for you. It never hurts to ask around.
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