im only 17. and i have seen so much in my life already! My father has a low paying job. so could never gave me and my siblings the life he wanted to or we ever imagined. My mom is a diabetic and has kidney disease and heart problem too. Because she doesn't have any health insurance most of my dad's income goes after her medical cost. Im in high school and already i am a failure. because of moving here from another country language has always been a big issue for me. and yeah most of the kids in high school thinks im weird and i don't mind about it that much. i let people think whatever they want. most of them think im a terrorist just cuz im from an south east asian country. even though i never really said anything about it to anyone it really bothers me a lot. some thinks im a loner, some thinks im stupid cuz i have bad grades. but they never really understood what my problem has been. just cuz im not white i have to face a lot of racism in this town. i dont really care about those racist bastards. i left all my real friends back where i grew up, where i really belong. so if im here sad all days i have no one to really share my sadness with. in my lil time here i liked a few girls. but hey im not meant to be happy so i got turned down every single fucking time. well now on a situation where nothing really matters to me anymore. every time i rise my hopes up it gets demolished into the ground in matter of seconds. i've got my heart broken numerous times. so im kinda used to it. the most sad thing was when i asked a girl out she called cops on me for sexual harassment. since then i have learned my lesson. never talked to a girl unless she came to me and said something to me. i dont know why im even writing this. i just know that there is no one that cares to pick up millions of broken pieces of my heart and piece it up together. i just want to leave everything. so they will be happy. and the world will have one less sad and a failure left living.