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Shit life & wanting to end it

Posted by anonymous at January 21, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 January

I generally want to end it. Not even as a "cry for help" as most suicides are performed for.
I absolutely hate my life. I'm 21, virgin, no friends & nothing to live for. I reject all ideas of work. I spend every single day going to sleep at 6am+. All the time I'm awake I play games on my PC. I don't see it as an addiction to gaming. I see it as a way of living. I want to live this way, it's the only thing that makes me happy.

I refuse to see any psychologist/therapist. I just see this world as living HELL.
I think about suicide every single day, but I can't gather the guts to actually do something about it. I don't know what's wrong with me.
There's just a part of me that has some hope that everything will change & I'll be happy. This hope has been with me for about 2 years now. & It just gets worse.

I've been in love twice, both of which left me. One was recent, last month. I thought I fucking had it. I actually believed it was a turning point in my life. I was gonna get out this hell hole and actually be happy for once. It lasted 1 fucking month..
She said she loved me etc & left me for her fucking faggot EX. It just crushed me to a lower point than I was previously.

But yeah, that's pretty much what goes on in my head every day. Same day over and over, I can't live in this world.
I just know I'm going to ignore everything until I'm on the streets & rotting. I give up trying for people & for myself. I hope there are others who feel this way, not for my self satisfaction. Just because it's true that today's life is not worth living.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 08,Feb,12 22:36

Im sorry to hear about all the hardships you've endured. Its not over, heres some good news.

God uses the weak, the powerless, the hurt, and the lonely in GREAT ways. Heres a illustration: A potter will take a helpless, lifeless lump of clay and then knead it and squeeze it until it's soft and pliable. And then when he gets it just right, he takes that piece of clay and he does something called throwing, where he places the clay on a spinning table.
aAnd as that clay is placed upon that turning wheel, the potter's hands then begin to pressure the clay and work it until he makes something beautiful out of that old ugly piece of clay.

God is the true master craftsman. He is a potter who is making something beautiful out of every life. He will take the old ugly mistakes and sins and make them into something completely new!

When you truly know God, you can live victoriously! So whatever the ugliness is in your life, be assured that through the blood of Christ, God molds you and makes you into something beautiful! Many people can testify to how God has changed them. Ive never heard of anyone regretting putting their faith in jesus.

Are you saved? God can turn the worst of situations into good! Joeseph was put into slavery by his brothers, he was abandonded, afraid, probably thought his life was over. But he trusted God, he then eventually became second in command of Egypt. Without looking into the future it can be hard to be optimistic. If you put your faith with jesus he wont abandon you, he will love you and give you a new life.

Youtube Nick vujicic. He's a man who was born with no legs or arms, God has done great things through him.

This isin't an ad or some other bull, I'm trying to bring you the truth which many can testify too.


By at 09,Feb,12 20:05

actually I just went to youtube and typed that mans name Nick vujicic. I started to cry more because life really does suck. He prooved it.
By anonymous at 09,Feb,12 20:46

this is how fucked up people really are.

By anonymous at 09,Feb,12 15:03

Listen. Ignore shit msgs they are horrible people n haven't a clue, I wonder how 'they' came across this site...? interesting. Anyway, can't be arsed taking about them idiots. As said before, how are you TODAY?
By anonymous at 09,Feb,12 19:20

you are so right I thought the same thing!!!!

By anonymous at 09,Feb,12 15:23

God is good. Put your faith in him and he will not let you down. First you have to find the courage to get out of your comfort zone. Do new things. I was once at this same place. I didn't want to go outside communicate with anybody, i just wanted to die. One day i started praying out loud and i asked god to give me the courage to change, i asked him for the power to overcome bad thoughts, and to be able to defeat any problem that i come across. I don't know if this is helpful, but remember live your life to the fullest, because it truly is a blessing. There has been one phrase i have carried around since that day, and it always gives me strenght. Only God can judge me, this phrase, plus knowing that if i live my life right and do right by others that everything will fall in place.

By anonymous at 09,Feb,12 18:20

I so understandÖ sometimes I think that being born was a total mistake or a sick joke. I have suffered from depression my whole life and I myself have tried suicide 3 or 4 times but who is counting now. I would end it all but I love my family more then I love myself and I just canít do that to them ďagainĒ. I would love to give you words of encouragement or advice but I canít. I am a 50 something, mother of two boys who have done nothing but sucked me dry. Married for 30 years to my first and only love never been with anyone else but he has. I have a sort of high profile job and work more hours than anyone should. It is so hard to get up in the morning knowing it is going to be the same old shit over and over. I know it is wrong (in Gods eyes) to take my own life so I have come to the conclusion that life is a living hell and I am in the center of it. Itís okay to hate life but life will take you out when it feels like it in the mean time we suffer.

By anonymous at 09,Feb,12 19:14

I hate reading things like this! It's pathetic yes pathetic, I mean I do feel sorry for you but there's people in this world that are dying And cant do anything to stop it! They would love to have your life! It's up to you to change the way you live! So forget the past it's called a past for a reason! The future may not look good now but you can change how the future looks and it takes courage to change it! Life ain't easy! Your ment to have fun in life so go out there and have fun! You don need a relationship to have fun either, one day you'll realise that the other two relationships didn't work out because they weren't the right one, then you will find te right one and all the hurt from the other two would have been worth it! Your still young! So please can you enjoy it! forget the bad, people seem to remember the bad more then the good!

By anonymous at 09,Feb,12 19:24

Grow a pair and make yourself useless to society. Join the military and cut off that filty rag of THC flooded hair you must have and march to the tune, sonny boy! Get some sunlight you vampire and sleep at night and wake for the sunshine in the morning. Go to the gym and suffer and maybe you can attract some poon.

By anonymous at 09,Feb,12 19:45

Mental depression. I suffer and just turned 21 I feel the same way. Since school never tried skated by and turned out into a dumba$$. Always quit sports. Never tried at anything.I have a Horrible gf that would involve cops and beatings that Iam still with and my mom hates!!!. I have no friends because of it. To sum it up. I pray to god my car would flip and burn me rather than hurting my mom to see me kill myself. I love to play call of duty. Only thing I try in. the point of this is I suffer do I need help. No but I should change it. im suppose to be a med student. I cant even get out off of porn hub to study. Only thing im good at is Xbox and knocking girls up im a loser. I had a CNA test and failed today that I paid 200$ for. I stopped going to my phlebotomy class I paid 800 for. I really hate me. WE ARE OUR OWN WORST ENEMY. I CRY FOR YOU BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER HELP YOU THAN ME!!!!!!


By anonymous at 09,Feb,12 22:11

Dont put ur hopes in others ! Its an heavy burden to bear

By anonymous at 16,Feb,12 06:07

clear your head, come up with a plan with your life whether it be the military or college and go with it. You can dorm and make some new friends and await a new chapter of your life.

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