I'm sitin here rolling a bullet across my knuckles debating weather or not to do it but that's now and this is why I had a decent existence some could of called a life I had a few friends that I would die for knowing they would do the same for me I lived in a decent house I had a phone it was ok i was living but I guess it all started right around the age of thirteen my best friend and his sister moved out a town and I didn't even get to say good by iv always been a little socially akward I could never really carry a conversation im a little tongue tide and with out my friends I just slipped away and nobody really noticed me or if they did I never noticed my family dubbed me their scapegoat and every time they couldn't find anything no matter what it was be it change or their phone I was always blamed so I decided screw it why the hell not if I'm getting blamed for things I didn't do I might as well do it so I just started to take the change steal my dads smokes and every thing els they've accused me of doing I got busted shoplifting and I just let the pigs take me in I didn't say two words to any one the whole time I got bailed out and did my probation but I never stoped my family thought I was stealing their shit because I had to because " I was addicted" but they never understood even though i told them many times why I did it it was because they started blaming me for things that I didn't do so I figured if their going to blame me any way I might as well get the reward for it if theyr going to blame me for stealing x amount of money I might as well get ya know this went on for about three years eventually my friends moved back to the neighborhood and things started to look better for me then things went down hill fast and on my sixteenth birthday me and my family got evicted and of course it had to be on my birthday that we had to pack up and leave the house I grew up in but it wasn't to bad we got another place and it was pretty nice I lived there for 348 days were i hung out with my friends had some fun and no matter how hard I tried I remained a virgin I would always be told how smart I was and all that bull but nobody would ever truly listen to what I had to say everybody thought I wasn't a virgin so I rolled with it and it kinda stuck for all I know I might have lost it with out recalling it I blacked out almost a full year of my life where my best friend said he walked in on me with two women at once but I don't have a clue weather it was true or not because I don't know the furthest I had ever gone with a girl that I can remember was kissing and it was brief at that then a whole lot of shit happened forcing me to leave everything I had behind over night I didn't get to tell anybody goodbye and now I live in a trailer in the middle of nowhere ten miles away from the nearest town and the only good thing that I accomplished was poising my virginity to the town slut with which I spent over six months fucking and bending over backwards to try and make her happy to no avail I wound up dumping her cause she was cheating on me and I became the bad guy she told anybody who would listen that I beet her and choked her even though I have never hurt any woman in my life and now every body at my school thinks I beat women so I can't even get a girl to say hi to me let alone go out with me now Ive been alone for almost eight months and death sounds perfect I shouldv known better at least I got six months of sex and head and I won't die a vergin... I just have to walk home before I put a slug in my brain my real home the only place I feel comfortable it's only a week if I hoof it |
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