I grew up in an abusive household. My mother used to beat the crap out of me, only me. I have three siblings, two younger sisters and an older brother, who has openly admitted to my mother that he used to do things and blame me just to get me into trouble with her, They haveen't ever been treated the way I was treated. It's not that I wish that they had been, It just pertubes me. Like why only me? I wasn't a difficult child... the worst thing about me was that I had night terrors.. (jeez i wonder why..)
once I came home from school, I would have been around 10 years old, I hadn't cleaned my room, Yes my mum had told me to, but I didn't want to so I didn't, I got home to find the house locked, my mum was home, as was my brother, it was pouring with rain and my mother screamed out the window "you're not coming in until your father is home!" so I sat in the front yard in the rain for three hours, when I got into the house I asked mum what I had done wrong because shit, I was ten, I had forgotten about my room. "you know exactly what you've done" then she turned to my brother and said "you're going to hate me for this" and beat me round the head with a rolled up newspaper for next next five minutes. Skip to high school, we moved over to the eastern states for my fathers work, and I got depressed and began cutting, I ran away and lived with a friend for a couple of weeks, constantly recieving phone calls from my mother, "If I hadn't already called the police I would be there right now pulling you out of there by your hair" etc. when I spoke to my parents about the cutting my father said "If you wanted to die you'd be dead, you're just playing."
When I was 17 my parents told me to move out and get my own house because they were moving to another country and I wasnt allowed to come with them, So I moved, I planned to anyway. they have now moved back.
skip to now, I've had complications in my relationship with my boyfriend of three years and have had to move in with my parents until I can afford to move out again in a few weeks. My mother has threatened to get my dogs put down while I'm at work, They aren't vicious or biters or barkers, they just want to be petted, and she is sick of them. I only have two dogs, and they have been staying outside while I've been here, I love my dogs and in my own house they are inside dogs, and it is fair enough for her to want them to be outside. But for my mother to tell my ten year old sister that she's going to get my dogs put down while I was not here?
I told my parents tonight that I was thinking about going to university to study Social Anthropology and Psychology, and pay for it myself, and My mother said "Pfft, Harley, You've studied in the past, all you'll wind up doing is quitting and being in debt. You're useless but you know that."
It was probably wrong of me to think they would be proud of me. Basically I have never recieved any sort of praise or support from my Parents, I don't know why I keep trying for it.
Anyway, due to the life I lead, I have Depression, an anxiety disorder, OCD and abandonment issues. This isn't even a thousanth of what I have been through... | |
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